Last week I read a somewhat controversial column by Danny Harvey in thelondonpaper, one of many free late-afternoon newspapers for Londoners that you will inevitably find shoved in your face on your way home from work. The columnist argued that people who worked in England should all be able to speak English. After initially talking about the beauty of the English language, he goes on to mock a tube announcement by an ethnic member of staff with a supposedly strong accent, who mispronounced the names of the stops, and seemed to lack clarity when announcing an important service update.

This sparked a debate within me and I wasn’t sure whether I was agreeing with him or found his opinion slightly racist. Maybe by agreeing with him, I was being a bit of a racist myself? But how could I be racist, my friend is one… or something like that.

The Sri Lankan postmaster in Nottingham, who refused to serve customers that did not speak English, got fired last week. His concern with not being able to serve customers properly if they did not speak English was echoed by other ethnic minorities in his branch. His employer explained that it is unfair to expect customers to speak English and that tourists may feel offended. I doubt the tourism industry will suffer from this, and his decision to release the postmaster was clearly out of fear of a backlash on business.

Arguably, England is now home to more than just the English, but it is still home to English, the language! I find it a wonderful language, spoken and celebrated all over the world. If not in England, where else should it be spoken by all its inhabitants? The least we should expect from someone who lives, works and raises children in this country is to speak the language of this country well, right? Well not entirely…

A lot of older ethnic people in England, especially in London, neglect the need to learn English and fail to assimilate simply because they live in areas that cater for people of a similar background and culture. A lot of British ex-pats in Hong Kong, for instance, live in the same English-speaking areas, seeking a little bit of home in a foreign country. It is a fairly natural move. But would this country still be the same without their ethnic influences on the multi-cultural landscape of Great Britain? Would the lack of their contributions to food, arts and literature not paint a different picture of this vibrant melting pot of all melting pots?

The history of immigration and ethnic minorities in England has taught us that a mere functional command of the language was enough to create opportunities for work and education. Centuries ago, industrial immigrant workers from East Bengal arrived in the docks of the East End without any command of the English language. It was a mutually beneficial agreement, which sprung out of courage and paved the way for an even Greater Britain.

Now on the other hand, if a language is this easy to “manipulate” in order for us to get by, should we all talk English improperly? What does “proper” actually mean nowadays? Maybe we should talk in slang and use short-hand when writing to each other, which is already the norm in text messages, on Facebook and Twitter.  I do struggle to understand what half the teenagers in Tower Hamlets say to each other. Perhaps their strangely illustrious hairstyles hamper my hearing ability, yer get me blad?

The answer is: No, I don’t get you blood, but I understand that the English language is constantly changing. A Shakespearean expansion has helped to raise the bar of this great tongue and maybe we are at the brink of yet another expansion, although perhaps not as sophisticated as that of the great playwright. Maybe this time, accents, dialects and words from African and Asian languages play a far bigger role. It should be embraced and celebrated, not mocked.

I have completely gone off track, no pun intended, but I would like to point out that without those ever so impetuous paper merchants of thelondonpaper, who by the way do not all speak English very well either, Mr Harvey would not have been able to share his whinging opinion with us.

On another note, wouldn’t it be great if we could just switch languages and speak Swahili or Cantonese at the flick of a button?

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