The Perfect Pick-Up
Posted on 19 January 2009 by Lady Jalebi
“Lady Jalebi is a young, vibrant Londoner quite happily living the single life and playing the field. Her anxious parents however, think it’s high time she settled down and are on a quest to find the perfect Desi guy for her to marry. From set ups to speed dating, join her each month as she provides a light-hearted insight into some of her weird and wonderful encounters on the long journey to find The One.”
I was already running late as I teetered perilously on my sky-high heels towards Tottenham Court Road station. I had a birthday party to get to, and my friend had already called me twice asking where I was. Punctuality had never been my forte. I power-walked on in the manner of a new born gazelle… until I noticed the Adonis walking towards me.
He was Asian, in his twenties, and extremely cute. Wearing a sharply cut suit, he was walking in a relaxed, confident manner while talking on his phone. He looked up briefly and took in my appearance. My posture instantly improved; suddenly I was sashaying sexily in my heels as if they weren’t cutting off the circulation in my toes, my expensive tailored coat accentuated my curves in all the right places and, for once, my hair was behaving. I caught his eye and smiled seductively. He held my gaze and smiled back as we walked past each other. I counted silently under my breath, ‘one… two… three, turn’. The ‘Three-Second Look-Back’ rule was perfectly executed, and I looked back at the exact moment he did. We smiled again, and my ego started to inflate. I counted again, this time for slightly longer, and sure enough, I had correctly timed it to be the exact moment he turned his head. More playful smiling, and I knew I was in. I slowed down my pace and presumptuously waited for him to come. As predicted, he changed his direction and walked up to me while I developed a sudden interest in my phone. This was textbook flirting, and I was in my element.
‘Hi, um… don’t I know you from somewhere?’ he asked. I smiled to myself at this most basic pick-up line, but decided to play along. We both knew that we had never met before, but under this pretext we were able to engage in a fairly extensive conversation as we pretended to work out where we had seen each other. I discovered his name was Ibrahim, which alerted me to the fact that he was Muslim, and piqued my interest even more.
We talked for half an hour on the corner of Denmark Street as he persistently tried to persuade me to change my plans and go for a drink with him. I was torn between wanting to see what could happen with this beautiful stranger, and knowing that I should go to my friend’s party as promised. Should I play it safe and listen to every mother’s warning about never talking to strangers, leaving him on the corner where I found him; or should I take a risk and ignore the possibility of getting molested and/or murdered by someone I knew nothing about?
As I looked into his dark eyes, his face just inches from mine, I knew I couldn’t resist. I finally agreed to go with him. His face lit-up, and I felt both nervous and excited about what I was about to do. I sternly warned him that I had a rape alarm in my bag in case he tried anything dodgy (lie), and assured him that I was not normally in the business of picking-up strangers on street corners (truth).
I said a quick prayer for my survival and let my curiosity get the better of me. I was already incredibly late for the party, and I could see my friend anytime, I reasoned. Choosing the unknown was adventure; the night was young and so were we, who knew what could happen…
We strolled down to a café in Covent Garden and proceeded to get to know each other over coffee. He was incredibly sexy, making it a real effort for me to hold a normal conversation and not just drool over him. There was so much chemistry, sparks were flying everywhere between us. I tingled all over each time we accidentally-on-purpose brushed up against each other.
Meanwhile my friend was blowing up my phone demanding to know where I was. I guiltily replied that something unexpected had come up, and switched my phone off to avoid the torrent of abuse I knew was sure to come. I didn’t regret my choice though; I was having a great time flirting as naturally as breathing. I had met my match, and our conversation was littered with banter and innuendo, resulting in an abundance of blushes and laughter.
Hours passed by as we talked about everything from culture to cartoons, feeling as if there was no-one else around, but us. Actually, there was no one else as we had stayed till closing time. We left wishing the night could go on, but we both knew our time together was drawing to a close.
He had his arms around me as he walked me back to my friend’s place where I was staying that night. The wind began to pick up, and he automatically tightened his embrace. I shivered deliriously. It was exhilarating the way our paths had so unexpectedly crossed. We walked along slowly in comfortable silence, until it was finally time to say our goodbyes. He turned towards me with a smouldering look, and leaned in to kiss me tenderly. I melted completely; it was one of the best kisses of my life.
I knew I had to see him again to find out if anything more could happen between us. He seemed to know what I was thinking, and I saw him hesitate. He pulled away and told me he hadn’t been entirely honest with me. I was instantly filled with dread. While I knew he was originally from Newcastle, he had led me to believe he was living in London. Apparently this wasn’t the case. My heart sank. I wasn’t up for a long distance relationship and it would be difficult given that I still lived with my parents.
Although we still exchanged numbers, we both understood that this had been a special night, and agreed to leave it like that. He held me tightly and kissed me again for a long time. Then he turned and left. This time there was no ‘Three-Second Look-Back’ as I watched him disappear into the night. I never saw my beautiful stranger again, but the memory of that amazing night we shared has never left me. I took a risk that night by venturing into the unknown, but it was my adventure, and it felt wonderful.
  (12 votes. Average: 4.33 out of 5) |
Tags : lady jalebi, marriage, speed dating
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January 19th, 2009 at 10:12 am
SOOOO romantic and so sexy!
January 19th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I love it!!!! Long distance isn’t so bad, hard but not so bad! Newcastle??? So he had a yummy accent to boot!
January 19th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
What a load of carbon dioxide! this girl has definately been watching to much Sex in the city.
January 19th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
You had me at hello?!! Go and find him!
January 19th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
The article reads very well (as per LJ’s standards!). Does seem a bit ’sex and the city’-esque.
January 19th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
That seems like a perfect date!! its very rare u connect with some one instantly, and generally like that! what you doing reading this! go call him!:D Newcastle is only 3 hours away by train, personally i couldnt just walk away from an encounter like that. x
January 19th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Noor i agree with you.
January 19th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
did he have good shoes? lol
January 20th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Infidels and munafiqeen, the Wembley branch of the Saudi Ministry for the Prevention of Vice has delegated me to cleanse the Augean stable of this website for the salvation of your souls and the punishment of all corruptors. I will now enumerate the transgressions found in this latest offering from Lady Jalebi, the courtesan of the Tottenham Court Road.
Number One - you were unaccompanied by a male family member in an area of doubtful reputation
Number Two - your hair was uncovered. And “behaving”.
Number Three - You exchanged idle prattle with an adult male not directly related to you
Number Four - you were late for your friend’s party
Number Two - you entered a place of drunkenness and debauchery
For more details on the training programmes offered by the Wembley Muttaween, not including maths, please contact me at imam_t@wembleyplayaz.co.uk
PEACE!
January 20th, 2009 at 2:52 am
disappointing this article.
I am getting image of Bollywood copy Hollywood here.
this is sooooooo far away from desi-ness. It kills it.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:16 am
lol what’s desi-ness? You lot have no idea what having a life really means. All you do is sit in front of zee tv and then jump on insidedesi and judge each other, thinking your own set of ethics and morals supercedes others simply because you are muslim or more muslim than other muslims.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am
LJ, sad story. It’s nice when you find chemistry with someone, but sad when there is something in the way. But if it was meant to be then it was meant to be.
So what if it’s sex in the city-esque. Damn, some of my life is like Fawlty towers, who cares. at least someone is giving something for us to read about their life.
Lady J, you write well and i would love to meet you because you sound like a really crazy and down to earth girl.
I hate to say it, long distance is hard. can work, but requires both to put so much more effort into it than usual and in these times, you start to lose trust in that person (actually maybe its paranoia).
January 20th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
@Imam - If you denounce this kind of thing - why exactly are you on doing on here reading about LJ’s search for a partner? Also, please (in your own extensive and superior knowledge) tell us how you would go about finding someone?
LJ - I thought this was a charming, if not a little tragic, article. I particularly enjoyed the spontaneous decision you took to go with this smooth romeo on a whim - great risk and adventure - I wish more nice girls took a chance every now and then - there are a lot of charming, good guys out there looking for their LJ!
Looking forward to the next installment young lady. Clark.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Hey good read. Shame for you guys that it was a one off.
I have to say he could have used a better line than “Hi, um… don’t I know you from somewhere?”, but hey I guessed it worked!
January 20th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Honestly I mean come on, this is like a cut and paste from a Mills n Boons book and some you lot are deluded to think its ’sweet’ or ‘romantic’!
People like Lady M and Emeee you need to wake up and get in the real world girls. This Lady Jalebi is after a hubby, does she seriously think meeting a random in the street, going for a meal and then getting off with him will lead to this? The guy certainly won’t be thinking along that line that’s for sure!
When Lady Jalebi says: ‘I discovered his name was Ibrahim, which alerted me to the fact that he was Muslim, and piqued my interest even more’
Well does it even matter if the guy is Muslim, you obviously are breaking a lot of Islamic rules, so what does it matter if the guy you marry is a Muslim or not. I think this is another case of an East London girl acting all good at home, wanting to marry a Muslim to please her parents and let everyone think she is ‘good’, when deep down she does not have the morals of a Muslim. Same seems to go for her groupies such as the aforementioned Lady M and Emeee. Girls you need to grow up, learn some morals, then just maybe you might be ready to settle down in an Islamic way.
Cheerio!
January 21st, 2009 at 10:58 am
People on here who are trying to act like they are all knowledgeable Muslims, will know it is not right to judge…skipped that bit?
I fully back lady J, I am totally against Muslim men who think that women must not be seen or heard! Total misunderstanding and self interpretation
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:24 am
A hot encounter, but he’s not someone you should settle down with.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Love reading this :) Long distance can work though and unless you try you never know.
January 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
i echo the comment about lady J’s interest in the guy being muslim
based on her portrayed lifestyle, why should she care?
its a dumb confused comment from lady J
January 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
and she seems pretty easy if they guy is embracing her after just a few hours.
and you girls can romanticise all you want, but id bet marriage definitely was not on his mind ;)
January 23rd, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Madrasha and Average i so agree with you, lady J needs to wake up!! What a load of cow pat!
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
my balls are always ready for a good tea bagging lady J if you want some cream in your tea. anyways hola back at me.
January 24th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Lol @ frank, shes probably the type considering the fact she lipsed some random guy within a few hours of meeting him.
January 24th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
In this modern world , she lives hw she lives
u dnt live it 4 her
dnt qstn her on it
if by fate this guy was the 1
wud u be happy 4 her or wud still slate her?
women have a greater say in hw thy choose their partners nw
so i thinks its time every1 wised up
January 24th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
frank, that is utterly disgusting. u shud be reported. also shows every one that your easy and sleazy. prob still single, u need need to re-evaluate urself mate.
January 25th, 2009 at 12:46 am
J1nxy and ayesha whats wrong with us expressing our opinions? Frank may be a bit explicit but thats the impression he got of lady j and i dont blame him for thinking that
Because if she kissed a random guy after a few cups of coffee
Its quite possible that she could have ended up having sex with him, she sounds like shes easy and i think thats why frank proposed what he said.
But really and truly i still think lady j watches to much sex and the city as if shit like this happens in real life, wake up people!
January 26th, 2009 at 12:49 am
What a load of tosh! You’re living in a sex in the city dream.
I bet L J is a real dark, rough looking skank who needs to put out within hours of meeting a guy to stop them from running away.
I pity the fool who ends up this skanky girl’s “The One”.
January 26th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Raj mate u got it spot on!
January 27th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Oh yes. Because everyone who has a kiss with someone is a skank and a whore. Mmm. Because every person you kiss, you just jump into bed with. Because if you don’t meet a guy/girl in a certain way, this is dishonourable and morally wrong. Nice way to jump to conclusions, nice way to judge someone that you don’t know at all. I have to say, I disagree compeltely and I resent that.
Normally I wouldn’t do this, but I think that the people who are judging her and calling her a skank is WAY out of line. Yes, people are allowed to express their opinions but you don’t need to be rude or offensive about it. And yes, the way that I interpret you comments, Malice D, Frank, Raj, et al, as offensive, because Lady J is NOT a skank, nor is she rough looking. And so what if she’s dark? What are you trying to get at?
Before you all jump down my throat, which I have to say, wouldn’t shock me and surprise me, mabe you could think about improving the way you portray yourself and think about what you’re writing on here? Trust me, all that judgemental self-righteousness sentiment that you spew isn’t all that.
And before you ask? No, I’m not her. Not that there’s anything wrong, but I am, unfortunately, not as talented in the writing some LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT area as she is.
January 27th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
What talent? Oh you mean copying and pasting from some romance/love book. Great talent!
Just read some of her other posts and you will realise the vocabulary is slighty strange compared to this one. Hmmmm… I wonder why?
January 28th, 2009 at 9:33 am
@ Malice D
Are you jealous by any chance? Perhaps you’ve never been good looking enough to catch a lady’s eye before or ever even been able to approach a female? I have plenty of male friends who once they see a girl smile at them do the exact same thing as this Ibrahim guy. It’s not that far fetched really, plenty of people get talking to members of the opposite sex in the most random of situations. Lady J just happened to give the guy a chance instead of telling him where to go like most other Asian girls do.
And I don’t agree with the copy/pasting thing. I don’t really see why you think the vocabularly is strange and while I think the writing’s good, I wouldn’t have thought it was good enough to be from a published book.
January 28th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Malice - if you can’t play nice, please just go away. You’re just being annoying, and making unqualified judgements on someone you’ve never met. There are some people that do enjoy reading the column - and you’re entirely missing the point and just ruining it for them.
Moreover, I know it’s not a copy and paste job and I know there are other people that are out there that agree. So unless you can prove that this was a copy and paste job, then stop making unfounded claims.
Yes, it may be different from the other anecdotes - but that’s because it’s a little different from her other ones. The fact that she uses vocabulary doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s copied and pasted but it shows some versatility. Yes, so it may sound a bit sex and the city, but it’s fine to draw influences from other places.
So go into your little corner and play by yourself.
January 28th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
OMG Calm down everyone, these things DO happen, its not straight out of Sex n the City or Mills n Boon. I’m a conservative guy who’s had plenty of attention from women over the years but I haven’t had a girlfriend yet, BUT if I was outgoing I could’ve had plenty of encounters like this. A lot of feisty girls have encounters like these two. So people, wake up or dont hate.
January 28th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
woow! people get feisty up in here!
it was a very cute story! i have to admit.. i did find myself smiling! and i can see it from everyones point of view..
i have to admit.. when she said she kissed him.. twice .. i was like..”wow… that was rather quick!” buut.. at the same time i was like.. in this day and age.. i wouldnt be surprised if she said..”and then we took it upstairs..” NO disrespect..
everyone is entitled to an opnion.. as horrible or as sweet or as pathetic as it maay soound.. its ur own opinion..
but i just think that the story/real life thing we got going on here was a cute one! although i wouldnt wanna be Lady J when i arrived at my mates house!!!! the guy has to be reallly cuute for me to forgive my mate for that!!! ;) x
January 29th, 2009 at 12:05 am
its not that fact that she kissed someone or hugged or whatever.
its how fast it got to that stage.
meet a guy in the street, few hours later ur hugging and kissing.
seems kinda skanky.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Yes im jealous if you say and the rest of that jargon… But at least i can tell whats genuine and whats bullshit!!!
January 29th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
lool… fair enough “average joe” i have to admit.. it twas rather quick and pretty unexpected…
but hey… thats life :P x
February 20th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
He can’t have been as good as you described him otherwise you probably would have given it all more of a chance! Then again you probably not a fan of Newcastle….
Moral of the story is perfectly time your ‘Three Second Look Back’ and your good to go!
February 22nd, 2009 at 4:33 pm
hahahah, sorry people for the rude language earlier but was doing a test to see who the average readers of this blog/article are, and if the site is administered at all.
anyways hope I didnt offend anyone, if I did I sincerely hope you forgive me.
thanks
February 28th, 2009 at 2:27 am
I realise that these stories are just written fantasies.. I bet the perosn who writes this is an overweight, late 30’s, single aunty tryna make sum xtra cash. Well Aunty G, im letting you know, that your job here, to lead youngsters astray, is not so good hun…. And i pray that Allah guides u and All of us to the truth Ameen.