The trend of making films based on friends is still an ongoing thing; Bollywood boasts titles such as Yaarana, Sholay, Dostana (1980), Dosti, Filhaal, Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, and the highly-acclaimed Dil Chahta Hai.  All hold friendship as a central theme, and pay tribute to the various forms it comes in, with characters sacrificing, killing, and even dying in the name of friendship.

Is this a bit too extreme and unrealistic?
Zoom out of the reel and into the real world…

How far would you really go for your friends?
How much would you give-up for your best friend; how much would you put-up with?

A 2007 survey revealed that the majority of us have a few close friends, rather than loads of friends who aren’t so close.  75% of us have six or less close friends, and 46% of us have a best friend from childhood, most likely through school.

I fall into the majority, the 46%, and almost make the 75%, too. My friends are few; I have 2 childhood best friends; and I have 7 close friends.  They are all an extension of my family. With them, I’m as flawed as I can be.  I’m informal, unguarded, and free.

How far would I go?
Pretty far.  I’d be there at any hour, I’d drop anything for them when they reach out to me, I’d put aside my own life to help them figure out theirs, I’m fiercely loyal, protective, and enduringly patient.

Would I put them above family?
Probably not, but perhaps in those one or two odd situations.

Would I die for them?
I don’t know. Maybe by accident?

Would I kill?
No, I don’t think so.

Does that make me a bad friend?
Perhaps in Bollywood terms.

I don’t believe in befriending perfect people; my friends have formed throughout the years, and friendships are built on time and essence: random landmark moments which become the foundations of lifelong companionship.  We can violently argue, vehemently disagree, and frequently infuriate each other, but it works as just another dimension to who we are.

It’s where this foundation hasn’t had a chance to grow, that quick exits are common.

But what if the two concepts collide?  What if your best friend picks up and leaves one day? And you don’t hear from her for months on end, until one day she lets you know that she’s still alive. Just not around, because she needs time to herself to rebuild her own world.

Are those the times that test the boundaries of friendship?
Are friendships only tested in situations of betrayal or deceit?
And when it comes to crossing the line, when is it too far?

I don’t know when she’ll return, if ever at all.  But I know I’ll wait, and I’ll be here no matter where I am in life when she does decide that she’s finally ready to face the world again.  Not because I’m perfect, or because I want to set a precedent.  But because I know that in the past 4 years of friendship, she’s never, once, let me down. Ever. And if she’s gone, it’s for good reason.

There are people in my life who, should they behave in the same way, I know I would drift apart from, and eventually have no connection with, even if they were to return.
There are people, who have underestimated their position in my world, and tested my endurance over and over, only to learn that my door for them is always open.

Then there are those that are difficult to define or categorise. The ones you undervalued, or didn’t realise how much of an impact they actually had on your life. Who make you stretch further than you ever thought you could in situations unexpected.

As in the words of David Storey, “The essence of true friendship is to make allowances for another’s little lapses.” Whether that ‘lapse’ is defined as a slip-up or an interval, we all make allowances in our own way, and they don’t seem too far. Right?

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