Arvind Devalia is a performance coach, speaker and author of Get the Life You Love and Live It, a life coaching bible to those who want to improve their lives. Before he got into the world of self growth and personal development, he worked for many years in IT and Marketing. After a visit to help out at Nirvana school in Pondicherry, South India in 2000, his life changed dramatically.

He has since written two books, been involved with some amazing projects and has met some wonderful people along the way. InsideDesi caught up with him and here is what he had to say…

Pras: Your first book, Get a Life - 25 Steps to Building a Dream Life was published almost 5 years ago. It was then republished in 2006 and titled Get the Life you Love and Live It.  Could you sum up in your own words what this book is about?

Arvind: I was inspired to write the book by a desire to impact a much wider audience with my philosophy for life and also living the best life you can. Get the Life you Love and Live It is my version of how people can truly live the life they want and aspire to. I feel I have a unique contribution to make and what I have written in the book is my truth. Not the truth, but my truth. The book contains a lot of anecdotes and examples from my own life, making it more realistic and approachable.

Pras: How is it different from other self help or life coaching books out there?

Arvind: When I say that my book will change your life from day one, it really will! The suggested actions in the book have been tried and tested by me, my clients and many generous and supportive friends. The ideas and suggested solutions are therefore all within easy reach of my readers.

Pras: In your book you talk about the power of having a mentor. Who would you say were the biggest contributors in the inspirational sense?

Arvind: I am in total gratitude to my parents. Both have been practicing a deeply spiritual path for over 25 years and their way of life has impacted me deeply. My single most amazing teacher has been my father, a renowned and prolific writer in his native language of Gujarati. His philosophy for living a life of contribution has influenced me in a big way. My mother too has influenced me deeply, probably more than she even realises. She is the sensible one in our family and sometimes I wish that more of that had rubbed off on me at a younger age.

Pras: How did you come up with the idea of writing this book in particular?

Arvind: It came about as a result of running a charity event for Comic Relief in my local coffee shop. I learnt the lesson of giving to receive, for which I am most grateful!

Pras: Do you draw any inspiration from historical or public figures?

Arvind: Amongst historical and current figures, there have been many wonderful teachers but none more so than Gandhi. He has influenced me deeply and indeed I am currently developing a keynote speech using some of his teachings. My favourite quote from Gandhi is “Let your life be your message”.

Pras: What is your most favourite book of all time?

Arvind: It is difficult to pick one from the hundreds of books I have read in the last 7 years. However one that springs to mind straightaway is Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela.

Pras:  Just a moment ago you mentioned the lesson of ‘giving to receive’, what do you mean by that?

Arvind: Giving to receive is all about doing things for others without expecting anything in return. But inevitably the way the universe works is that you get a lot more back. To get the life you love, you will be helped by many different people. You cannot do it on your own. Therefore there will be a lot of giving and taking, supporting each other and teamwork.

Pras: You come across as a very selfless person in that respect. What is your motivation behind it?

Arvind: I was once asked by a friend why I wanted to help her so much. At the time I simply replied that I didn’t know. Today I would say to her that I needed no reason to help her or indeed help anyone. It is quite easy to bring that attitude in your life. For example, if you are a musician, you try your best to help other up and coming musicians. You have a choice in how you behave towards others.

Pras: So how can you be more generous and considerate?

Arvind: Well you need to realise that gifts come to us in all shapes and sizes every minute of the day, if only we can become open to acknowledging and receiving them. Every human incident and interaction is an opportunity for giving and receiving a gift for our learning and growth. The gift may be love, friendship, honesty, support, thoughtfulness, generosity, humour or fun.

Pras: It all sounds fair in theory but does it work in practice?

Arvind: You would be surprised. For many people, giving is the easy part and it is in receiving that we can close down or refuse the gift. So it is most important that you must be open to receiving, because if everyone was giving, and no one was receiving, to whom would you be giving?

Pras: But by your own theory, by giving, do we not subconsciously expect praise in return?

Arvind: Well when you give to another, you receive the blessings of what you have given them, such as pleasure, satisfaction and joy. This way of giving and receiving is all about balance and once you put it into action, you will receive as surely as you give.

Pras: So what is a good example that we could all adopt in our everyday lives?

Arvind: A sincere compliment or even just acknowledging people’s presence can make a huge difference to them…and yourself. Do not confuse giving compliments with flattery. Compliments should be positive, sincere and focused on something specific. For example, “You look radiant today” or “You sang really well today”.

Pras: Well Arvind, your interview is going really well today! I also heard that you host a very unique event once a year, is that right?

Arvind: (laughs) Yes! Every year, I organise a picnic in Regents Park called “Friends and Friend’s Friends Picnic” whereby I bring together 100’s of people and this is the highlight of my year every year.

Pras: In your opinion, what are the three most successful habits everyone should adopt?

Arvind: Always stay true to your word. Being in integrity at all times is possibly the single most important habit I have cultivated. The second one would be to always adopt a positive attitude and look for the good in any situation. Thirdly, you should always look to contribute and connect. When I come from a place of wanting to serve and to be of assistance, then I always have something to do. As always, I get so much more back

Pras:  A place of wanting to serve?

Arvind: Every time I meet a new person, I listen carefully to them and give them my 100% attention. That sense of listening and my presence is a kind of serving anyway. Based on where they are coming from and on what they are saying, if appropriate, I offer to connect them with someone in my network who could help them. Sometimes I may have a resource or contact that would be useful.

Pras: So from a practical point of view, how can one stop wanting to be first and instead serve others?

Arvind: To stop wanting first before serving, I feel that we first have to switch off our inner, selfish voice which is chattering incessantly and thinking about ourselves! Once we realise and accept that we are all one and part of bigger picture, we can really focus on serving. And as I said before, the more you give, the more you get back anyway, so it is a win win situation.

Pras: But isn’t society conditioned to breed selfish attitudes?

Arvind: Our society is conditioned for everyone to want first before serving, you are right. But I am beginning to see hopeful signs of change worldwide.

Pras: Now your next book “Personal Social Responsibility” is out very soon. Tell me more about that.

Arvind: The world is finally waking up and we realise that things need to change if we are to survive and indeed if our planet is going to be able to sustain us. It is time for all of us to do our bit to tackle global warming, sustain our planet and ensure social justice. In other words, it is up to all of us to be socially responsible. This book is also in a workbook format and it is aimed not just as business people but anyone who is interested and indeed inspired to help make the world a better place.

Pras: Well that definitely sounds like a worthy cause!

Arvind: Yes! 10% of all profits from the sales of this book will go to Shivia, a newly launched micro-finance social enterprise. You can learn more at www.shivia.com. I came across this company a few months and was immediately drawn to their work and ethos.

Pras: Thank you very much for your time Arvind and good luck with your new book!

Arvind: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about my work. I hope your readers feel motivated to change their lives for the better! It always amazes me how often key and inspiring people come into my life!

To read more about Arvind’s work, go to www.ArvindDevalia.com/blog

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