Are Asians a tight-fisted lot?
Posted on 27 August 2008 by Aliya Rashid
Are we Asians a tight-fisted lot?
Do you only believe that charity begins at home?
Not true I hear you cry. I’m generous; I give money to causes back home, in the ‘motherland’.
Well, that’s great! But what about here? What about the organisations over here that deal specifically with Asian problems. How much do we give them? Or do we not care because they highlight the issues within our communities that we would rather ignore?
Hands up who saw the 2007 film ‘Provoked’ with the delectable Aishwarya Rai? It tells the true story of Kiranjit Ahluwalia who, after sustaining ten years of systematic abuse at the hands of her husband, killed him by setting fire to him.
Speaking little English and with little support, she was tried and convicted for murder. And, in prison she would have stayed if it wasn’t for the support she got from the Southall Black Sisters. They highlighted her case and kept her in the public eye, eventually winning a re-trial and her early release. The case changed the way domestic abuse is viewed and handled within the legal system and also instigated the current review of the murder laws being proposed by the government.
SBS (Southall Black Sisters) was established in 1979 to ‘highlight and challenge violence against women; empower them to gain more control over their lives; live without fear of violence and assert their human rights to justice equality and freedom.’
However, SBS had to fight their own battle for survival recently when Ealing council tried to withdraw their funding. Thankfully however, after taking their case to the High Court in July, SBS won and Ealing Council were forced to back down.
This got me thinking. Every organisation has its main funding body. But just why were SBS so dependant on Ealing Council for their survival? Surely they have other revenue streams?
Checking on the SBS website, I had a look at their funders. What I saw initially bewildered me. There appeared to be no obvious Asian financers. Was this a mistake? Or were they simply hiding behind English sounding companies? I needed to know more.
Speaking to Pragna Patel, the Chairperson of SBS, I had my worst fears confirmed. SBS does not receive much, if any funding from Asian sources. Considering the amount of money that there is in the Asian community - proportionally there are more millionaires with the surname Patel than any other name within the UK - it is beyond comprehension that we are not putting our hands in our pockets to support organisations such as these.
Pragna acknowledged that domestic violence is an ‘unpopular issue’. Certainly it does not have the same glamour as the arts, or kudos as say cancer research or heart disease but, unfortunately it does exist.
While we look the other way at domestic violence within our communities, we let other people looking on to have their prejudices confirmed. By allowing our women to be mistreated and then not put our hands in our pockets to help clear up the mess, we become the guilt bearers too.
In the words of Pragna, ‘we will forever be branded backwards and barbaric until we are seen to be doing something’.
So let’s start with money. Prove we are willing to support the organisations who are trying to help us.
Maybe, Aishwarya we could start with you? After all, you did get a movie out of it.
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August 27th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
SBS is addressing the commmunity societal issues and at the same time segregating them from others (i.e. other ethnic minorities) who are victims of domestic violence. This adds to the paradox of English funders behind Asian issues!!!
Quoting from their website: “Southall Black Sisters, a not-for-profit organisation, was established in 1979 to meet the needs of black (Asian and African-Caribbean) women.”
… and what about the rest?
As you say, “charity starts at home”. and so does decent behaviour. If we fail miserably as a society and allow the morons who commit such atrocities to get away with it, what use is it to say ‘Show me the money (and then i’ll see to it)?’
As mere taxpayers, we give more than our fair share; the taxman should allocate it more efficiently rather than to incentivise ventures that are remote from these domestic issues.
Back home (whichever part of the world that may be), we should investigate the infrastructure and if it is badly administrated by the state, we could then offer our right hand so long as the left hand does not brag.
August 27th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
>… and what about the rest?
There is a need for organisations such as SBS which understand the target community. A generic organisation attempting to tackle such issues within the Asian community will not have a clue about cultural sensibilities, and possibly will end up doing more harm than good.
Well done Aliya on the great article and highlighting such a pertinent topic!
August 27th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
>Asim,
Domestic violence - be it wherever - is “domestic violence”!
Not to forget SBS also addresses African-Caribbean women; which does not make SBS solely focus on a target community per se.
Deducting political correctness from the whole scenario, target communities/cultural sensitivities could equally be addressed in a generic organisation provided we have a fair representation of the population we endeavour to help. I.e. a mixed-community organisation (represented by a mixed-ethnic group) helping the victims. If SBS do stretch out on this note, it would then be a matter of supporting them whole-heartedly.
Thank you, Aliya for substantive article.
And Asim, I look forward to SBS receiving a generous donation from such a warm-hearted person as yourself. I’ll wait for the taxman to allocate my portion to SBS :-)
August 27th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
WOW, so that’s how you sleep at night Samia, you just think to yourself: “i do not need to do anything, my tax is already helping everyone”.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
a valid concern….good point!!
I had been to a Asian awards nite, where we all contributed to a charity organisation.
Giving charity is not my problem, my concern is how it is portrayed before the recipient and only if it benefits the recipient regardless of faith, sex or colour…i.e. not self-centred. Non-asian donors to an asian charity…a valid example.
You may be amazed to hear this, some charities use the charity money to not only help the poor, but also for a false propaganda for their faith and urging the downtrodden to convert to their religion. This is the history of many converts and always has been, if not by force. It is exploitation not charity.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
True, I do support British charities- GOSH, Cancer research etc but not asian ones.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
What a load of rubbish! The above article is illuminating in being thoughtful and displaying blind ignorance, in equal measure. To equate sending remittance money back home to family and giving money to Asian charities is an aberration.
The truth is, and I know, truth is not always convenient. A lot of second and third generation Asians, especially females, I am sorry to say, just not get it! that they are off springs of immigrants who came to this country to make money and support their poor families back home. Now, times may have changed but, the needs still remain the same. What has changed is that, Western feminism amongst Asians is becoming dominant ahead of their cultural norms and tradition. Thats a real tragedy.
‘The society that loses its grip on the past is in danger, for it produces men who know nothing but the present, and who are not aware that life had been, and could be, different from what it is.’ (Aristotle, Politics)
August 27th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
@ rassel
I think u r missing the point here mate.
i smell of a male chauvanist here!
FYI u r in the world of equality!! dont wake up in the 21st century with ideologies of the 1st century…u r . right..times have changed ;0)
August 27th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
@ Amrish
Gandhi once said: ‘the problem with Western education is that, it colonises your head’…..have a good think about that!!!!
August 27th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Rassel - what the hell does women working have to do with Asian’s being tight? Don’t worry mate, I am not asking you to donate any money.
and answer me using your own words not a quote off a website, cheers
I agree with Amrish - this is the 21st century. Don’t complain that women have the abillity to be independent so can chose their own paths, and not be forced to remain with usless men who hold some of the same views that you do (Rassel).
Progression and change is not negative, it is how improvement is made, isnt that what Ghandi was trying to do for India, bring change and improvement?
August 27th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Look! Like I have stated earlier, truth hurts. Though I don’t believe in patriarchy but, I do believe that, for us immigrants, charity has to begin at home, where ever that ‘home’ maybe.
Too many people, today, are ashamed to acknowledge the obvious, namely, that they are a product of mass immigration. And they should not negate their past but, rather, embrace it. Even if it means, sending money back home, rather then giving money to charities here.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
again russel, what are you talking about. its clear you need to vent these other issues, but do so in the correct manner. You have added the ‘working women factor’ without any relavence to this topic.
i have no idea what you mean, when you say truth hurts - i just think your a bit of a plonker because of what you wrote.
If you are saying, most Asians don’t give to charities because they send it back home - then that maybe is a valid point. charity can start at home, I myself am directly involved with a few projects in Bangladesh. But these places of ethnic origin, need to sort themselves out in the longterm. Us giving handouts without structure is the course of some of the problems.
Anyway statistically women are more active in charity work and donating then men.
I do not understand what your argument is about working women.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Ok, lets break this impasse: I am a ‘tight-fisted’ Asian who sends all his charity money, ‘back home’ because the need there is greater……….what is wrong with that??
August 27th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
no one said anythings wrong with it… why do you guys always think someones saying your wrong.. no one said that you’re wrong..
August 27th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
you have delusions of persecution rassel.. get some counseling while you still have time.. you need help
August 27th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
@ Shamshad and Amrish:
Ha, ha…. Shamshad, first, says: I am saying nothing ‘wrong’ then says I am deluded. And you (Amrish) applauded him by saying ‘well said’??? GUYS, MAKE UP YOUR MIND, ARE YOU COMING OR GOIMG????
Thats me done!
August 27th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Rassel - I think sending money back is a very difficult thing to do. Working long hours to only pack off the fruits of your labour to someone else. Yes it may be a duty, but I do not mock people who have the strength to give money and so consistently, let it be for duty or for charity.
But Rassel, do you think we are creating a dependent state by sending money all the time, back home? I have family who live like Royalty, with not a clue in the world how that money gets to them, and sadly enough not a real concern of what the person goes through, to give it to them.
Send money back home, but with structure and moderation - is my belief. Lets not makes these people invalids, by doing everything for them.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
are we a tight fisted lot! Yes some of us are driven by greed which stems from the need to succeed in this country.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Tick tack, lol… only on this instance do I sleep at night thinking the taxman is ripping me off massively!
I care holistically, not on partial matters; as far as my charitible deeds are concerned, take a peek in Bangladesh (as an example)… I would consider famine and humanity as more important issues, where the woman(/man) - irrespective of creed/target market - might well be struggling to make ends meet, and where domestic violence is the norm for those who live with it, with no where to go.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I agree with Fatema on this point and have observed with most of my collegues. They have sweated out their youth just to fill coffers somewhere else. Back home their family thinks its ‘easy money’ and live a lavish life.
@ Rassel.
I hope u must have sent enough money by now so that can live happily for atleast 6 months. Just try stop sending money for 2 months….true colours will be revealed!!..it happened wid many of my friends.
Some parents dont even want their kids to stay back home, they urge them to go back and start sending money or even never return ..that is ridiculous!!
If you have someone like this back home…I pity you.
One of them met the worst of its kind….when he started saving for his ownself, his dad refused to speak to him and his mom recently passed away owing to the son-dad skirmishes.
It was a happy family….only until he sent cart loads of money by labouring 16 hours a day.
I am lucky, by God’s grace, I dont need to send a dime back home….and even if I do, it goes into MY account. They want me to build my future!
I never let this windfall get over my family’s head.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
I agree with Fatema’s analysis of the situation in countries such as Bangladesh where the majority of middle class families have someone working their arse off abroad, only to fund their lavish lifestyles. These people don’t have any occupations but live in great luxarious mansions, are chauffered around in their nice cars and are forever on the phone to the poor guy (who may have a family of his own) to demand more money!
So I agree that we are creating a society back home that is bereft of the concept of ’sweating for your bread’ whilst our communities here are barely getting by in over-crowded council accomodation!
August 27th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Samia: So you actually think giving money to stop domestic violence in the UK, is a waste of money?
Regardless of demography, a good cause is a good cause. Some may be more important than others but to say it’s a waste of money, as you have implied, is unjustified.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
wooooow!
being 17 ive just
realised how important
charity is too sume people
ive just always thought of it
as a simple “giving back to life”
for all the wealth and happiness
it has given to you
August 27th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
> Fatema Yasmine,
Not really. I did not imply that giving money to stop domestic violence in the UK was a waste of money. Rather, I was critical of the structure in which such issues were being presented. As I mentioned in my response to Asim, it would be great if the organisation (SBS) did not target a segment, but victims of abuse holistically.
First of all, we need to tackle these issues as a society, not as an organisation. For instance, if I suspected a kin being involved in an abusive relationship, I would be proactive, and not keep my mouth shut despite societal *constraints* ( -> that needs to be addressed).
I would be open to giving money irrespective of geographic preferences. There is a fundamental flaw in SBS, and hence, I don’t hold a great view of it at present.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Another point to add - the fact that we are not getting the best value for money when it comes to gevernance. Say for example, you give a certain portion of your income to the people who promise they will bring better legislation to protect their citizens; would you advocate those people spending money on defence, or rather would you prefer them to invest it wisely and help the society as per their original promise?
I hope this makes sense Fatema.
I agree with you when you say a good cause is a good cause. But I disagree with you when we don’t question the fundamentals of the cause.
August 28th, 2008 at 1:33 am
The presence of Ash in this movie has highlighted the problems of Asian women. This has also given a fillip to the cause.A commercial actress acting in such roles is in itself a good contribution.Most actesses would have avioded the role which would not have added value to their portfolio. This indicates in some way the social consicience of the lead actress.
August 28th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I applaud both Fatema’s /Amrish’s/ Razaul comments above. I mean come on Rassel…Maybe you had a bad experience once on this topic or your somehow frustrated with “women working” or something but leave that aside…I think we should view it from the point of view of women for a second because I think we’ve kinda gone off topic!
Say your a female and you got married (talking to largely Rassel here) and the person you were with made you life hell?…and say the only place you could turn to was funded mostly by non-asian people….how would that make you feel?..beacuse i’ll tell you how that would make me feel….like asians are a bunch of…as fatema called you..”a bit of a plonker”.
Am not saying don’t send money “home”, but dosn’t that make us victims..technically..being forced to work work and work in fear of emotional blackmail?…yea yea i know what people are thinkin now…”this is not the case with me”? But this whole question…”this is not the case with me” is exactly the reason why I don’t think asian people give to charity!..”If it dosn’t directly affect you, why give to it?”…. Whereas not giving money back home with directly affect you!…so yes I think we might just be a tad bit…”Tight fisted”…..what you think (talking to everyone above)
…
August 29th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Reasonable people can agree to disagree and I think, most people here, are reasonable people. This issue is immersed with subjectivity and is a precursor to a broader debate around: past, present and the future of the immigrant communities.
Hence, I suppose, this is one of those issues which has no right or wrong answers. So in a odd way, you all are right. Though, on this occasion, I beg to differ….call me old fashioned, if you like.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Fair enough Rassel, I respect your viewpoint if it is right according your mindset.
Debates are caused due to difference of opinions and viewpoints.
As long as they are healthy, constructive, honest and reflect the truth, we should be open to discussions.
After all, we learn from each other and it is the learnings that we earn in our lives and pass the same to our offsprings to build a better future.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
i agree that women need to remember their place in the kitchen!
August 29th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
u must b single!
August 29th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
hahahaha intesting responce, BUT i agree with Ravi!…. I believe a girl still needs to know how to cook….like its been for yearsss…and also vey very VERY importantly know how to make a ROUND roti!
August 29th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
if dats not a joke…i m sorry to say guys but u hav only physically migrated !
Kiranjit’s husband, as in Provoked, had similar views! Times have changed, minds haven’t :-(
August 29th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Thank u Amrish - now heres a real 21st century man! If women are expected to work full time nowadays then men need 2 get their ass in2 the kitchen and help! Ovawise they’ll be going without!
August 29th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
lol he had “similar views”?…so basically all the centuries previous men have been “Wrong” and now since we are all “modern” its time to swap roles?. Am not sayin women shouldn’t work! but they shouldn’t exactly try to be men an all
August 29th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
@ Nasar
U r missing tha point here.
If women are expected to work, i.e sharing the man’s financial workload, they need to be assisted in the kitchen as well. Whats the problem in this, you are being fair to your spouse?
If the man’s not working and the women is..he definitely has to get into the kitchen.
If you are marrying a woman does not mean that you have “bought” her.
Neither is she your slave to satisfy your all desires.
Previously it was a completely male dominated community and only the men used to work. And where this was not the case the men used to assist as well.
So, working in the kitchen to assist your wife hurts your male ego and sending her to work doesn’t?
It doesnt make you a woman if you visit the kitchen.
FYI… The world’s best chefs are men.
As I mentioned earlier “dont wake up in the 21st century with ideologies of the 1st century”.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Lol I know what your trying to say, BUT u got to admit nowadays there are women who don’t even know how to cook!, never mind anything else. I complety agree with you when you say if a women is helping out finanical workload then a man should also be in the kitchen..i think thats bang on and fair. But what am trying to say is I think its just scary at how asian girl that are “modern” can’t even make roti..how will the generation after be?..what a few generations from now..”roti” will be a thing of the past?…are we actually strangling out our own culture?
August 29th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
lol @ the above - its true - back in the day women were house wives so fair enough dey’ll cook and clean etc BUT now women work just as hard as men if not harder and u xpect them 2 slave in the kitchen 4 u…. aint happenin really - well unless u marry a freshie.. and even they don’t take slack from lazy men these days! Ur better off staying at home with ur mum-she’ll put up wiv it-unconditional luv n all.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
i admit it i can’t cook - i’m career focused at the mo - but when the time comes i’l learn and il expect my hubby 2 b standing ryt beside me - not lying on the sofa with a can watchin d footy.
mutual luv n respect dats d way it has 2 b
August 29th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
LOOL! mannnnn all am askin for is a round roti, not a slave!
September 6th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Then get up and making it yourself, you lazy guy