Fresh from Desh
Posted on 27 October 2008 by Lady Jalebi
“Lady Jalebi is a young, vibrant Londoner quite happily living the single life and playing the field. Her anxious parents however, think it’s high time she settled down and are on a quest to find the perfect Desi guy for her to marry. From set ups to speed dating, join her each month as she provides a light-hearted insight into some of her weird and wonderful encounters on the long journey to find The One.”
I watched in silent exasperation as my father arranged a date for our family to meet the boy. I had vociferously refused on three separate occasions to this introduction, yet my wishes were being ignored because my father, like most, thought he knew best. Once the date was fixed, there was no way I could back out without jeopardising the ”family honour”.
The main reason for my reluctance was that this boy was not home grown. He had come over from Bangladesh five years ago to study Accountancy. Now he was in his early thirties, qualified and looking for a wife. The argument between my father and myself was one of the optimist versus the cynic. I saw myself being used for a passport now his student visa was expiring, whereas my father believed he had the potential to offer me financial and emotional security because of his profession and religious upbringing. Even if he was genuine, I wasn’t convinced that my London mentality could ever match his Desi one.
I resigned myself to fate and arrived at their house with my family. I quickly sat down after realising that as usual, I was the tallest in the room. I was the epitome of shyness as I meekly stared into my lap, surreptitiously glancing at the boy occasionally. I caught him doing the same and we both instantly looked away in embarrassment. Slim and with a pleasant albeit ‘fresh’ looking face, and fluffy hair, he wasn’t bad looking. He had clearly made an effort with his suit and I approved of his clean-shaven appearance. As I refocused on the conversation I heard Aunty say, “It’s so good that you agreed to come, lots of girls immediately say no to boys from back home”. I blushed guiltily knowing I was one of those girls - my father was giving this boy and his family false hope.
Then my mother started to grill the boy about his qualifications and immigration status. She was even more cynical than I was, and her thinly veiled tone of disbelief made me cringe. My head swam with talk of articleships, Home Office legislation and work permits. Sensing my boredom Uncle interrupted unexpectedly, “Why don’t we let these two go upstairs to talk?” My parents’ heads jerked back in horror. I tried to hide my mischievous smirk as my mother quickly suggested the parents retreated to the extension while we stayed here to talk instead. My smile faded as they left the room. Finally alone, we stared at each other in awkward silence.
I hesitated, wondering which language to speak in. Who was I kidding? My Bengali was an embarrassment so I stayed with English. Starting off like a game of 20 questions, his first was rather unusual - what was I like when I was angry? I thought it best not to mention that I would probably bellow in his face until he admitted I was right. Next came a question about hobbies. Revealing his adventurous side, he cited listening to music and watching the Islamic channel as his only ones. Still, as he described his life before London and his expectations of marriage, he seemed fairly open-minded which was promising. The conversation then moved on to religion, upon which he became very serious. Not to be outdone, I became even more morose by talking about death and the afterlife, acutely aware of the unconventional direction this discussion was heading. I tried to change the subject but the only thing that sprang to mind was my friend’s recent divorce. I couldn’t stop myself and the more I tried, the more I kept talking. Worryingly, our entire conversation was now revolving around the morbid themes of death and divorce.
An hour later we had exhausted all topics and were sitting in awkward silence again. Thankfully the parents had sensed this and returned to rescue us. They looked so expectant and hopeful that I felt awful. The boy had been nice but instantly forgettable.
Once home, my father promptly asked me what I had thought. He had previously dismissed my concerns believing I would change my mind after meeting him. Sadly, I had not. His face clouded with incomprehension. I was annoyed; I had steadfastly refused right from the start and had only gone because he had already told the family we would. As predicted, the guy had not impressed me enough to change my mind and no amount of cajoling or yelling would work.
My father had liked the boy and trusted in him. For my mother and I, seeing was believing. I had heard so many horror stories about sham marriages and culture clashes that as far as I was concerned, he could ask for my hand once he’d established himself with a passport, job and property and not a moment before. My father was sure he would achieve all this; it was simply a matter of time. Perhaps he would, but there were no guarantees. I was not willing to risk my future for a short man I barely knew, who currently had no place of his own, worked part-time at a supermarket because of work-permit limitations, and faced deportation if he was not granted a visa.
My father raged at me for being so shortsighted and to look beyond all that to the future and his earning potential. He bemoaned the lack of decent boys here as most were either importing brides or cavorting with their English girlfriends. According to him beggars couldn’t be choosers and I was being too picky, inevitably leading to the disastrous consequence of ending up alone, undesirable and past my prime, like the other single thirty something girls in the community. Barely in my mid-twenties, well educated with a decent amount of looks and personality I was hardly a ‘beggar’, yet my desperate father was already panicking hysterically.
For two hours we argued until eventually he gave up. He was disappointed but he knew that ultimately it was my decision and I wasn’t compromising on it. I didn’t have anything against the boy, but he just didn’t have any of the 4Ps - Personality, Prosperity, Phwoar factor and Passport.
My search would continue, but it would remain firmly rooted in the UK…
  (19 votes. Average: 4.37 out of 5) |
Tags : lady jalebi, marriage
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October 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
The right relationship is preferable to being single
Being alone is preferable to being in a miserable marriage
It’s not about proof that things are right, just a relaxed understanding and inescapable feeling that there are just no problems, it’s right but for no obvious reason.
October 27th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Gilesy - what you on about mate?! Here’s the real Deal! “cavorting with their English girlfriends?” - More like asian / bengali Girlfriends… Women are just the same, maybe worse. They’re all hooked up with someone.
October 28th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Another quality documentation of the trials and tribulations of modern life … Keep ‘em coming Lady Jay! :D
October 28th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Not the usual Lady J flair that we’ve all got used to. But still love it!
October 28th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
How many of these have you been too? lol.
Loved it!
October 28th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Ha Ha! How relevant to my situatuion this morning.Why are Parents so keen on Freshies?
Curious though, what quailites would Lady J have to offer if she did find Mr 4P’s? Surely a good education and good looks isnt enough
;D
October 28th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Read the article.. to be honest it was boring compared to your last ones. Its nothing new, i think every girl has had a proposal from a ‘freshie’… I’m married to a ‘freshie’ and im more than happy, he’s open minded, fun, out going.. etc, i couldnt see myself happier with anyone else. I reckon us girls should be a bit open minded, You get good & bad from every where.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
wow this mirrors many experiences and could really teach those who have not reached such a stage, like myself.
keep up with the good work :)
October 28th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
I think culture should be tailored to one’s own needs - but I can’t stop myself from thinking that there is a certain sense of “Western Superiority” in a lot of what is written. This mocking of the Eastern culture is not really necessary - and this happens quite often, folks from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka end up taking a beating. Shows like Goodness Gracious Me, although hilarious, are rather stupid - embellishment of one’s own culture is really not that funny.
So, drop the jabs at South Asians, especially New South Asians - they are here the same reason why your parents/grand parents came here in the first place. So, make your social groups more inclusive rather than exclusive.
Btw.. this may not have much to do with the story you posted up here.. i did read a small part of it.. but not all of it.
Cheers!
October 28th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
yep, i sense the same mockery-like of eastern culture coming from the the very same eyes as those who criticise it so much- the west. Is that how much london asians have evolved? pretty alarming.
October 28th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I guess its more to do with the acceptability and how open you are and what your benchmarks are to measure the viability of the person I would like get married to. Its rational as we all have different taste.
But, its a bit sad that certain ppl trying to ‘Stereotype’ the overseas student community especially students frm south Asia. I am pretty sure they r nt just after a visa all the time (exception can’t be example!)… and abt the western value or culture, in this era of Internet and Satellite smart people\students are well informed of things that happens in west and its value..They may not exercise it but should have better understanding.
I believe its time to take a more holistic approach towards those people\migrants. After all we should value some one coz of wat they are as human not coz of their immigration status or present circumstances!
Congrats Lady Jalebi for making ur own decision rather than getting carried away by parents…..
October 28th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I agree with Sameer and Tariq, stupid Asians in the West pretending to be white at the expense of their own culture, they go home and argue with their parents yet still need their rice adn curry! They never really fit in because ultimately they cant be Non Asian and if they are Muslim, the faith part in them always reminds them of their wrong actions. I think this is moreso to do with the women, Asian/Muslim men are quite liberal, balanced and broad minded, these type of insular village thinking is more prominent with Muslim/Asian girls who may have got a piece of paper that says they can read and write (degree) and now they are “holier than thou”. The British government should revoke their passports and send them to outside toilet communities where they have to plough and work on farms. Preferably located in India
October 28th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I’ll have to admit everything which was highlighted usually transgresses into the minds of most young asian brits, be they male or female because like you put it with such verity
“4Ps - Personality, Prosperity, Phwoar factor and Passport”.
Are still pleminaries that most whom lean towards a more western upbringing will have endowed in their eideology.
Nothing about this article is false or benigns any culture in anyway its just a thought approach to how the opposite sex such as Lady J looks at the world. Superficial a little she may be yes, however on countless occassions I have reiterated the same thing to my parents as well as hearing the same verbal re-iteration from my fellow counterparts.
Unfortunately as sound as a guy or girl may be on paper, the thought of settling down with someone whom have come from eastern backrounds worries us western individuals why? well I guess its just unfamiliar territory.
Its away from one’s ilk and lets face it no matter how much our parents try to pursuade us (usually because they still maintain a lot of their eastern ideology), regardless of adapting to a western way of working or like they say the brits way our parents will never truly understand us because they have not lived in our shoes or dealt with what we have dealt with.
A sound article of humour no doubt, without being offensive although this may come accross like it. Lady J needs to develop some substance (just a critiques point of view, to be taken with a pinch of salt)
Happy writing ; )
October 28th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
we’re on the same boat; you’re not going to get anywhere if you moan about the ‘wow’ factor. things change, and so do people, thus the wow factor eventually dissolves.
on the contrary, I thought the dilemma would be for a well-established woman to find a green passport and settle in comfort of motherland bengal.
October 28th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
loved it,
been there, done that
Felt guilty at myself, but couldn’t take the risk. still don’t have an answer to why. why are those so meaningless thing so important? if I had met the guy on my own and had fallen in love (like many of my friends did during univ) none of those would matter.
Guessing when u search using a biodata, smallest thing stand out.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:19 am
This article may bring out a lot of stereotypes, but at the end of the day, if you are going to marry someone, you need to be able to share your life with them.
That means all the little cultural in-jokes, the british sense of humour (that’s lost on even Europeans/Americans never mind S.Asians!) etc that goes to make that chemistry (this is after the initial ‘attraction’ is over). I would have no issues with a girl from ‘back home’(in the loosest sense), but at the end of the day, if it’s just degrees and passports that we are using to determine a life partner, then much of the point is lost!
Oh, btw, this is not a S.Asian issue, it can happen even with say UK marrying a French person.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:21 am
Maria Abdeali you have just explained why so many asian british girls are struggling to find british born husbands
October 29th, 2008 at 12:59 am
God this freshie-dissing crap gets old real fast. In case you are wondering, most freshies I know - those with real degrees and real jobs (where they even get to use computers every day, don’t you know?) - they have a genuine aversion to British Asian girls as well. (God knows where she’s been?!) Far better to marry the devil you know than the devil you don’t.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:02 am
As it is, most British desi girls have a well-deserved reputation for gold-digging, shallowness and quite relaxed sexual morals. (Translation: sluttiness.)
October 29th, 2008 at 11:21 am
I don’t see what is so wrong with wanting a British born husband. It is a preference in the same way as wanting a husband who is educated, for example.
British Asian girls seem to get a lot of stick for their opinions of guys from back home, yet no one seems to have a problem with the opinions of people like “fresh and proud” above. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that many people (British and South Asian) will AGREE with him!
I, for one, am insulted at his summary of “British desi girls.”
October 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I disagree with fresh_and_proud; I personally think freshies have more relaxed sexual morals that Brits - they’re just more undercover about it.
I’ve seen what goes on in the villages back home; the men there are just plain dirty - sleeping around with all the female servants in the village, paying for sex etc. and the women ain’t much better either…flirting with their male cousins from the UK and trying to get some undercover action. Makes me sick.
October 29th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Hear, hear Moomo!
Is it any wonder that India has one of the highest rate of AIDS in the world?!
October 29th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
fresh_and_proud is such a joker!! My gosh - you are FUNNY!! LMAO!!
Please write more!!
October 29th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
fresh_and_proud its about time freshi’s stood their own ground.
its really great to hear the other side.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Thanks Sparks. I was just trying to put the whole thing into perspective.
The problem lies in the fact that Jalebi’s father’s is desperate. Whether he is right or wrong in feeling this desperation on his daughter’s behalf is a different question. Thanks to his mental state, he is looking hither thither everywhere, fearful that his daughter will get left on the shelf. This is what happens when “traditional” parents have no clue how to deal with their westernized offspring.
So far so simple. Let’s come back to fresh boy. He’s managed to get his ass over here, but his options are limited and getting narrower by the minute. It’s either stacking shelves or handing out copies of London Lite. He makes the rational decision to take a shortcut, marry a local desi girl and ease his journey through this legal nightmare that is the UK immigration system. He is desperate for papers, where the father is desperate for a son-in-law. The poor girl gets squeezed in the middle.
But there are other kinds of freshies too. People with postgraduate degrees from top unis in complicated subjects. People who work in the City, make pots of money, take 3 holidays a year (and not just back to desh). People with a wide variety of interests and hobbies, be it arts, culture, sports, books, music, travel, whatever. Not as many as the shelf stackers, but they are there. And most of them can string a sentence in
Among th
October 29th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
(contd from above)
And most of them can string a correct sentence in English far quicker than the average East London hijabi can send a text to her boyfriend waiting in the top floor of Whitechapel library. These guys will think very long and hard before selling their souls to a lifetime of misery living with a demanding diva with an unreal princess complex derived mainly from watching absurd amounts of Bollywood. It makes much more sense to go home and marry someone compatible and well-vetted by the parents. Bye bye Whitechapel library.
As for the hordes of thirtysomething British desi girls out there - everyone is responsible for their own lives, their own choices. So if that means getting married to a white guy in his late 30s, that too is their choice, not anyone else’s.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
“And most of them can string a correct sentence in English far quicker than the average East London hijabi can send a text to her boyfriend waiting in the top floor of Whitechapel library.”
LOL
LOL
LOL
YOU SHOULOD WRITE FOR INSIDEDESI!
October 29th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
o er, heck…. freshi_and_proud seems to be killing everything out there. …down boy….let the others defend themselves!
not all of us girls are freshi hating, nor are we loose!
i agree that girls are far better off marrying someone from backhome then they are marrying some east london bad boy….the desi boys are more intelligent and cultured…..i myself a 25 yr old women will be marrying from backhome, simply because the guys back home offer more….ofcourse i will marry some1 educated and not from the village…and trust me we will be more then mentally compatible…..and he will not be desperate enough to run away once he has the passport, why? the one i have my eye one…he comes and goes from the UK all the time…in fact i think we might just move back over there with him!
October 29th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
has anyone noticed the explosive problem of single british asian women who simply cant find british born men?
British born men want reserved women who can look after the household; women who are more resiliant and resourceful who can teach their kids how to be good muslims with morals. The problem with British born women is that they have evolved to be more westernised, ie their way of thinking is shaped to a large degree by what society has subconciously printed on them (schools, colleges, tv, advertising, books etc).. whats more alarming is the way british born asians are becoming more and more hostile towards those born overseas- to the point where they are almost seen as if they came from another planet. Conveniently forgetting that their parents ARE FRESHIES. That lose woman writing the above article fits this generalisation.
October 29th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
My viewpoint stands pretty much with Lady J,
I would also struggle to see eye to eye if I constantly needed an interpreter to get a conversation going!
There is a stigma attached to anyone coming in with a less than audible english.
It really boils down to being able to see eye to eye, be it with someone here or from there.
We assume the ‘freshies’ have a backward mentality that will totally clash with us brits, but we often actually find this amongst us brits too. The way I’ve seen it, they’re not as naive to western culture as we think them to be and they certainly won’t be shocked to hear that you may have been to a few parties and may have dated or basically committed some sort of devience for your years. It wouldn’t faze them a bit! And hey don’t be so surprised if you hear that they had a life too, I hear the parties are bangin’ back home!
In comparison though, I don’t need to tell you what the guys here are like about a girl’s past..
I do believe the gap between mentalities and the lingo barrier is ever closing in.
One thing though and why I remain a strict no no.
I don’t care if they’re from here, there or anywhere. I’d want to marry for, as Lady J would say, the 4Ps, not for anyone’s status convienience.
As luvvy duvvy as the 1st 2 or so years seem, I’ve seen way too many scare stories of both husbands and wives being jilted or abused once the naturalisation has gone through.
Anyways, Lady J was open to seeing the guy on the 10% chance that she might be surprised - she wasn’t…next please!
October 30th, 2008 at 10:42 am
fresh_and_proud SHOULD write for InsideDesi!!
I totally agree with Bumble Bee.
Firstly, I never go to Whitechapel Idea Store (because I got to Bow Idea Store) and I only go to borrow & return books. ;)
Secondly, I also want to marry a ‘fresh and proud’ guy from my desh one day.
I’v told my mom that I dont want a gunda from East London (who doesnt know how to respect his parents, has no manners, doesnt know how to read the Qur’an, smokes ganja and drinks beer!!
WAIT!! WAIT!! Before you boys start getting vexed, I know; there are the odd asian men out there with degrees etc… (only a small percentage in Tower Hamlets)! But I’d rather get hitched to a boy with greasy hair and green passport…
October 30th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Ultimately you should marry someone if they are compatible with you so if that’s someone from back home or from here then so be it. There are plenty of losers both abroad and here, but similarly there are lots of eligible guys too in both places. It’s your life at the end of the day so just go with your preference.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
ye rite.. ud rather marry sum1 whos rich enough to give your ass the bollywood life you been watching since childhood. You gotta own up to the problems you women have first. Its not about compatibility, language barrier (as if you dnt speak urdu/punjabi/bengoli), cut the crap- alot of you women have been reduced to nothing more than gold diggers. No wonder why most of you cant find hubbies.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Maybe ur right Tariq - maybe I do want to marry someone rich, but who doesnt? If you’ve got a variety of choice - what would you choose?
I know, I’d choose the rich guy - whose been brought up well, in an upperclass environment (and that jus might be in the city at desh) ;)
Theres nothing wrong in wanting a rich hubby - its like wanting a catwalk wifey!!
October 30th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
yep.. absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a rich man.. its like wantin a catwalk wife. But waiting til you’re 40 to get that and STILL dont?? another shallow life wasted
October 30th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Jus because you want something doesnt necessarily mean you get it.
Its all down to your kismat at the end of the day.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
stop watchin bollywood
October 30th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
chasing a rich guy coz of his money and ‘upper class upbringing’??!!! amazes me how asian women have developed.
October 30th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Umm, Tariq, I appreciate that it is a generalistic opinion, but I just wanted to press my point that it’s not that hard working british girls, who have done alright for themselves are gold diggers, it’s just that we, or at least I, don’t want to be gold dug, for my passport or for the lifestyle I have.
We’ve done well, surely we all just want someone who can appreciate that and not bring us down?
October 31st, 2008 at 1:28 am
at least mango rubicon was honest in that she is a gold digger. You have done well, congratulations. But don’t think that every man who comes from abroad is after your passport because not everyone’s the same and to literally reject someone on that basis alone shows you’re insecure about yourself more than anything else- surely there is more to you as a person than a passport????
October 31st, 2008 at 11:54 am
Speaking from experience, a lot of the arranged marriages that happen with “freshies” are primarily so that the guy/girl can come to/stay in this country (love comes later as they oldies say) and to be honest I haven’t come across any counter examples. It just seems like any guy/girl will do as long as he/she has a red passport.
Take for example my female cousin from back home, an educated woman with a Masters degree- her parents were adamant to get her married to a Brit guy and in the settled for some total loser…a guy with a few GSCEs to his name (not that it should matter) and totally backward mentality. He didn’t want her to learn English properly/intergrate and physically abused her.
And then there are the male cousins from back home who are dying to come over to this country as they seem to think money grow on trees… They come over on work permits and then look to marry a Brit girl so they can stay over here in their menial jobs, slaving away, to send money back to their parents/family back home who end up living the high life.
Of course you can be happily married to a “freshie” but initally the motivating factor for those marriages tends to be that red passport!
October 31st, 2008 at 4:17 pm
im not denying cases/situations like these exist. But i personally seen plenty of success stories myself. There is nothing wrong with a guy who understand what poverty really means and would work day and night to help his family back home as well as his wife- infact that should be something a real woman will admire. As you pointed out, you can get a british guy with a messed up mentality as you would with a so called freshie- a term i have a problem with because our parents are indeed freshies. So whilst a red passport could be a motivation, i believe the bigger motivation is the same one your parents had when they agreed to marry a man who lives in England.. their relationship worked so why cant yours work
October 31st, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I think South Asian girls actually have more to offer in a stereotypical blanket statement, than Brit Asian guys do. Numbers wise, there is higher chance of meeting a competent Asian male there than it is here.
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I cant get over Adel Mozammel comments - Hahahaha
kudos to you dude!
v.well said
What happened to the good ol’ days of just love, pure and simple, colour & creedless and void of anything to do with passports, his/her accent, qualification etc etc
I agree, if you belong to a faith, be it Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh etc etc, alot of these obstacles can be counteracted and swept under the carpet in a balanced understanding. But you don’t need to be of a particular faith to at least understand that these kind of prescribed notions of what is better and worse, (e.g. a A British Bangladeshi woman thinking she is better equipped and deserves better than a bloke from Bangladesh etc, non UK resident being) is just plain unhealthy, regressive and to put it bluntly, very worryingly insular.
Everyone has preferences and ideals of what they want in their potential spouse, but when these ideals are contradictory and just, well, ridiculous in their justification, then it all gets a bit silly and you have no reason to moan if you’re left on the shelf for years as a singleton.
Lady J, you say he seemed fairly open minded etc, but funny how as soon as he starts talking about religion you stop making an effort and start to ‘out do’ by banging on about death. Surely
Fair enough you don’t want to marry him because he’s not attractive to you as you would like, doesn’t have those so called ‘4 P’s’ etc, that’s all good and dandy, but that could be quite simply and effectively, inoffensively put. But instead, it appears, ever so subtly, you have engaged in some rant about the so called ‘freshies’ who is your mind, are not as ‘contemporary’, ‘with it’, ‘worth it’ and ‘worthy’ of you.
Frankly, I think the poor guy is more relieved that he won’t end up with a narcissistic, insular, quite backwards minded woman as a wife.
Considering your looking to get married and attacking your parents every time they bother to find you someone when they should be chilling and enjoying their pension while you take care of them, don’t you think its high time you started to look for someone yourself with a clip board attached to your hip with the long list of all your ‘must have requirements’?!?!?
Then you will see how far you get with finding a decent fella….
In addition to that, why do you bother making out like you want some open minded ‘new age’ man who is not a traditionalist etc etc when you are the eptimoy of everything that defies modernity. You are the essence of that awkward village mentality wrapped up in rimmel gloss and topshop gear and a fake LV bag so maybe you should look within those realms young lady.
And for once, stop knocking the ‘freshies’ because a lot of them are far more intelligent, savvy, with it, open minded, attractive, and wholesome in their persona, than you can ever be.
This is hardcore criticism Lady J, I’m sure you have the balls to take it with your consistent gutsiness.
ciao!
p.s. for all the lady J fans who will respond to my post with thei oh so tiresome (yawn) -i-love-lady-j-and-i-wish-i-was-her-or-was-her-boyfreind -
go get a history or culture class and maybe make friends with people outside that narrow little British Bangladeshi ‘ I cant marry a freshy’ world you have created for yourself and you will open your eyes to the beauty of acceptance, respect and intellect.
;)
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm
MEEAAOW ^^^
lol, i like :D
November 4th, 2008 at 11:32 am
@ Mushroom “…but that could be quite simply and effectively, inoffensively put.”
Then why would we bother reading it?
November 4th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
“You are the essence of that awkward village mentality wrapped up in rimmel gloss and topshop gear and a fake LV bag so maybe you should look within those realms young lady”
I dont know any guys that use rimmel gloss, does that mean your’re suggesting Lady J start batting for the other side? Too much katy Perry for you my friend.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
@ qwazi - prrrr
@ Taz - true true - maybe its the fact that Lady J is such a insular reductivitist that we enjoy her banters so much - keep that up Lady J, we like how your so warped within yourself and your ideals that you find subtle ways to reduce others.. it makes you oh so orgasmically entertaining for some many of your die hard fans
@ Mo - I’m not suggesting she Lady J leave manfolk for some booby love, what i am suggesting is that she look with the ‘realm’ of her glossy world that she has created for herself and then maybe she might just, maybe, meet someone.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
my my, people don’t like sitting on the fence on this forum do they. I personally think people (mainly guys it seems) are intimidated by lady J’s mindset. An Asian girl, strong minded, opinionated, wont settle for 2nd best, vocal about it and certainly confident….I mean HEAVEN FORBID, how could this ever be…the world is not flat, really???? For most guys (seems like the case for mo anyhow) this seems to be just too much to handle and in the process upsetting their world order and balance of their rudimentary backward expectations cloaked behind their championing of ‘British-Asian identity’ and whilst living with unprecedented misconceptions of western-Islamic modernity no better underlined by their binge drinking and lewd behaviour infused Friday nights out in Leicester square when only hours before they were performing their prayers. My point is, move the log in your eye before helping with the speck in your brother’s eye. Who on this forum has not had their reservations about marrying from the subcontinent? Who has not judged on looks, charisma, cultural differences and who has not been put off with the idea of spending a lifetime with someone brought up so differently? Get off your high horses people…so what if lady J thinks and feels freshies are not good enough for her or wants a certain type of guy of a certain criteria you / I do not meet. A battered ego infuses jealously and jealousy is a very ugly emotion. I say fair enough to lady J, go get a guy that meets your every expectation and don’t settle for 2nd best. Looks like here is a girl who wants to be queen of kings, and why not.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
is london full of shallow girls like lady j and the idiot above? I blame East Enders and Corrie
November 4th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
@Lady Jalebi.
Firstly, a pat on the back for u for ur decision.
Your 4p’s are wat any other young girl would ask for( better than Kotler’s). If u may have added PROFILE (in lieu of qualifications), would have been better.
I am a freshie too and don’t intend to marry anyone for the sake of passport,thank god my visas are sorted. I better march back home and live a honest life, which I anyways intend to after 5 years.
Most freshies marry for the sake of passport, its the truth and we need to accept it. It is ridiculous and difficult to understand why a freshie would marry someone from here when he got hundreds of choices there. Moreover, guys and girls from here are seeking spouses from back home. The reason is simple, he needs a passport.
Its better to live single than marrying someone who is incapable of achieving his goals all by himself.
I could also see here that people are trying to push the blame on each other more than the problem.
Religious fanatics would never spare a chance too. They want to push religion into everything…whether its about visiting a club or entering a loo.
The opposite sexes have adapted their religion according to their lifestyles and tastes but instruct the either sex to strictly abide by the rules….u know what i mean.
Finally, Lady J, keep looking and you will find your perfect match. You can compromise but never give up.
Cheers
November 4th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Marmite, that was very accurately and eloquently put. I completely agree.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
very western point of view and if british asians have come to think in the same logic they have been brain washed to do since birth then fair play to whoever made this system.
clearly you’re not a virgin either.
November 5th, 2008 at 11:14 am
@ James - are you a virgin?
November 5th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
lol
oh the diversions
my point is
if lady J got off HER high horse, than maybe prince charming would be able to talk to her -eye to eye - on a balance, REAL, level
November 5th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Lady J is almost like a synonym for young asian girls who all want want want but fail to realise that they need to provide a great deal to the game too.
November 5th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
well thank you Sofia! you have certainly brought a smile on this young man’s face today..
November 5th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
no, i came home pregnant and had several abortions like most asian girls ;)
November 6th, 2008 at 2:19 am
Her anxious parents are concerned that its high time for ‘Lady Jalebi’ (or shall I say Lady J.)..to settle down.Perhaps ‘Mohila Jilapi’ would be a more appropriate name since her ‘Desi’ name is yet to be revealed. Ha!! Consfused Lady J. u’ve managed to put a smile on my face. I’ll give u that.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Lady J - try speed dating in ambala - that might get you somewhere. You can choose from the gajar halwa, or the ladoo or maybe the desi guy behind teh counter who makes you cringe because he is a ‘freshie’ and isnt good enough for you but in fact, in spirit, is going through the same bullsh** white washed prejudice that your father went through when he came to the UK and served poppadoms or cut leather or held the stall at Whitechapel Market.
the difference is, this time, a desi is dishing out the reductivism.
Lady J, the only reason your single is becuase you dont have the 4 P’s and the L, C, I and R
Looks
Charisma
Intelligence
& Respect
meeeaaooooowwwwwwwww
prrrrrrrrrrr
;)
November 6th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
you should write an article about all thats wrong with the lady J types!
it would be an interesting read.
good kitty.
November 6th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
@ Mushroom
u hit Lady J pretty hard this time….u showed the coconuts where they came from…lol
I guess their first generation were not literate enuf to study or have a white collar job…asylum seekers…werent they??
November 7th, 2008 at 1:25 am
pretty well said. If mushroom was a woman i would marry her today.
November 7th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
wtf!? mushrooms a guy!?
whats with all that meeaowing then?
November 7th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Mushroom is most defo not a guy
and if i was, i would be as gay a merry - go - round from the 70’s!
;)
November 7th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
marry me woman
November 7th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
@ All
Leave it guyz…Lady J aint bothered to respond on this article. Either she has been on a holiday or been held captive by her freshie parents at home by now.
November 9th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
@ all
i really enjoy this discussion as a fressi ,i am not looking fr a passport so trying to see the sisuation as a stranger,
some qustion come up to my mind as follows
1)wht values brit girls nd boys kept abt life or wht they should be where,parents ask to put on hijab at home and english freinds discuss about their 1st experience at school at 14-15.
2)why parents dont understand the difference in mentality betwwn two person,why they think any guy frm village in sylhet will watch cornation street with their princes,lol.
3)somethin interesing to me u girls preffer to get brit guy but go back to home to get girl from their for ur drug addicted brother cause u need someone to wash ur utensils at home??as a woman from civilized nation u should think about discrimination,lol
4)i founds brit girls r not friendly with their parents ,nvr express wht thy wnt nd find parents big head as most cases parents r illiterate,poor girls why dont convert ur parents to a english one,tht not joke or iam insulting u tht because u posses two diffrnt values nd th conflict comes frm tht point.
5)i found parents 1st chice is restaurent worker who spend money on gambling every night ,nvr been school ,would be a farmer or rickshaw puller in bd and all cn do here be a woner of a indian takewy or restaurent,how com a girl ,eduacated social can be happy wit a guy who spend every evening in a curry house?
6)i found less amount of guys feel discomfort to get a bd wife as thty think its bttr to hav some one to feed parents medicine nd another 2-3 girl friend on the outside,as it is a mens world.
7)from past experience brit girl think all guys from bd r rubbish ,nvr read any english literature dont knw english manner ,nvr allow liberal views so how people expect a happy lif if they think their patner is a stupid deaf just at tht start of their lif?
8)even in bd now boys nd girls took long time to tk a decision thn how parents here expect their girls will say yes just after a coffee wit a unknown guy.
9)i dont beleive tht every girls hr westernise or every bd boy wnts a brit girl for a passport only but the hypothesis here is “french guy english lady” type where u must find hard on ur way if ur patner is from differnt social backgrond.
10)at the end friends its all about to be happy so dont look ur parents just took ur own decision ,nd try to change ur parent`s view rather then blaming all freshis as i am one of thm,
hahhahahahahhahahah
November 10th, 2008 at 12:47 am
interesting points raised by blue water…I particulary thought point 3 - somethin interesing to me u girls preffer to get brit guy but go back to home to get girl from their for ur drug addicted brother cause u need someone to wash ur utensils at home??as a woman from civilized nation u should think about discrimination,lol … very thought provoking!!
The debates of the article is more interesting then the article itself.
Love, peace and harmony to all colours, nationalities and people.
xx
November 10th, 2008 at 12:49 am
btw … try not to judge all by the actions of some .. that goes to blue water, not all UK boys are drug addicts .. and I agree not all “freshys” are after the passport. x
November 10th, 2008 at 3:55 am
Point 3 of bluewater .. the answer would be
To each their own. I only have control over my own life/marriage. If he/family thinks its worth while to get a wife back home, than it is their decision. A sister has very little place to butt in. Its a parents/brother decision.
Each person knows whats best for them, more than parents do. every guy/girl has the right 2 look for and understand wat they want n finally be satisfied with their choice before marrying.
Lady J thought is very common not just for freshi but same applies to guy without job, dark looking guy/girl (for some case), lower family status, girls with career. There are many things that worry people and freshi is one of those. its good 2 question before jumping in.
November 10th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Tariq
sure -
make me a ring out of organic cotton and me in Regents Park rose garden and i’ll be the one with the red sari, the imam to marry us off and a boquet of white daisies. You will also find there the 300 members of my family, including their pets and neighbours and for dessert, we can bite through some jelebi
;)
November 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am
damn You’re looong.. but totally worth it!!
November 10th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
lol
Tariq - Lady J’s looking, why dont you fill that void? ;)
November 10th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
lighten up ppl - an article is an article! its Lady J’s experiences and opinon. So she doesnt wanna get married to a ‘freshie’ - big deal! She met the guy, yeah close minded but at least she met him, didnt like and so thats the end of that! Just cos she said that her search remains in the UK doesnt mean that she wont meet a ‘freshie’ whose really nice and with the 4P’s (freshies can still be freshies with a passport) and could be the 1 or maybe not! Nobody knws who they will end with!
Lovin ur work Lady J!
November 10th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Lady J has a loooong neck and i’m worried about the roof and the lightbulbs in my small flat!!
November 10th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
lol,
dont forget the big head - that could damage hinges and your walls too
;) (just messing Lady J, lighten up)
November 10th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
plus i like everything fresh- vegetables to meat to fruits- she probly has a phobia of fresh food to go with freshies.. it just can’t work out between us
November 10th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
you just want an organic cotton ring?
il give you two!, marry me!
seems every girls a diamond digger these days, not many organic cotton ring diggers about.
November 11th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Qwazi and Tariq -
I want an organic cotton plaited ring and a bouquet of daisies and a cherry blossom tree decorated with white lanterns hanging from every branch - so if you can arrange that - holla - i’ll meet you there. And we can invite Lady J too, maybe she can meet a non’freshie potential there.
As for Lady J’s phobia with all things fresh - lol -she probably relies on packaged food from morrissons, go forbid she has to cook, because that would be far to ‘traditional’ for your highness.
;)
November 11th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
The cotton ring.. ok,
i hate flowers but i will get you a bouquet of daisies (need to look that up on wiki)
as for the tree.. how am i supposed to carry a tree with me to regents park u mad woman
November 11th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I think we are diverting from the article analysis, lol
Sorry Lady J
we didnt mean to masacre your articles comments section with our discussion of wedlock etc
look forward to the next article ;)
Its so much fun disecting your writing - gives us plebs an oppurtunity to shine under the radiating modern woman-ness you ooze
;)
November 11th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Dear readers, thank you for all your comments. I do appreciate them however harsh the criticism maybe. A special mention for Mushroom and Tariq for commenting the most, congratulations on the impending wedding. Perhaps I could bake a cake for you? (see previous article)
I would like to add that just because I happen to reject a potential suitor it doesn’t mean anyone should take it as personal rejection of themselves simply because they relate to the situation. Each person is entitled to their choice and this is merely a light hearted documentation of the encounters I have experienced so far.
There are too many comments to respond to individually but in response to some comments…
-My neck and head are both perfectly proportioned
-I can cook
-I have indeed been on holiday
-My virginity has nothing to do with this article or indeed this website
-I am not mocking Eastern culture or have a Western superiority complex
-It is a fact that some people all have married for a passport but I obviously understand that there are some genuine people out there who are highly educated, wealthy, well travelled and extremely eligible.
-I would respectfully request that people do not make assumptions or comments about my parents in future
Thanks once again, particularly to the regular readers and fans. Your comments make my day (the nice ones do anyway).
Lady J
xxx
November 12th, 2008 at 2:17 am
Its about time Lady J! wow….some people should take a chill pill (tariq and mushroom)!! I’ve been hooked on to your articles since september…puts a grin on my face….its all reality…so deal with it…if you can’t, stop reading her articles! I’m quite open minded about marriage….don’t care who he is, where his from as long as he has the 4P’s and a muslim! I’m pious but you won’t see it…and yes I have been clubbing but that makes me a music junkie not a slut! I admit it i’m a hypocrite…don’t we all pick and choose whats convinient for us? for those who are shaking their heads…i’m sure you’ve shaked that booty to some tune..lol.
I think most people from the uk are intimidated by successful, self-sufficient, well grounded women. Whether thats in the uk or back home. We should be proud of them…not knock them over because they express their opinion.
My parents are freshies and proud! Not only because of where their from but also the way they’ve bought us up…with traditional values, morals and principals. And boys that doesn’t mean cooking and cleaning!! It’s respect everyone, follow your religion and live your life the best you can as you only have one!
Have a lovely day!
x x x
P.s Lady J don’t settle for 2nd best!! Your not picky…its a choice you have to live with for the rest of your life…right? all the best x x
November 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
*yawn*
November 12th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
intimidated by success? you, J and the rest of the fan club are missing the point completely and although it is a shame that growing up in this country has made us this way, i can not say im surprised.
keep shaking that booty for its your choice to let yourself be surrounded by drunk, weed and coke heads whose only agenda in life is to pick up girls like you. Just don’t fall in the trap of thinking that everyone’s as comfortable in that environment as you.
November 12th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
hi all
@shamard
cheerzzs for ur parents ,they make a standard for their kids withen reality ,principle of religion and cultural background ,thts the point i missing all parents here ,thy failed to make a standards for their kids wich would be sustanible for this sociaty.
i found a crisis of standard of wy of living betwn all young brits here,its not only for marraige its about all aspects of life.community failed to make a standards of how much people can hold from western socity without contradiction with cultural background and religious moral.most of people practicing their life in their own wy witout proper guidence ,
its reality tht u cant took all of western life if u wnt to respect ur religious or cultural values ,on the same time u cnt acces to the main stream socity or enjoy life ur wy if u stiky with religious values or cultural back ground.so u need to set up ur standard tht suits u best nd give u peace in ur way of life.
thts the reality young asian brits dont know wht their way of living should be due to standard crisis,so as a result today or tommrow lots of funny fusion of western and asian values will be observed in this sociaty.
and finally 4 p concept comes from materialistic veiws invented by capitalise social moral,its nothing wrong if u feel comfort with tht but dont take it as a element of happiness ,hahahhahahah
November 12th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Tariq - well said. Kudos to you. I am a woman and do not agree with you Shambles and Lady J - so what, does that make me backwards and less successful and strong headed?! I too have been brought up with morals and values and ideals of respect, hence the reason why it infuriates me when south asian women feel they are above those freshies they seem so quick to shrug off. I agree, there have been cases of passport hunting marriages etc, i’m not naive. But at the same time, the constant rejection of people under the umbrella of ‘they are not good enough and modern enough and open minded enough’ is just tiresome. Lady J was banging on about ‘boring accountant’, far to blinged ‘boys from the hood’, and now the freshies’. Its compartmentalising that bothers me. Its natural and human to have preferences, but its disrespectable to be reductive and box people. Hence my negative criticism. Its not aimed at upsetting you Lady J. But aimed at opening up a can of worms which is oh so frequently hidden at the back of the cupboard.
So Shambles, i wasnt criticisng Lady J’s article to knock her over because she is expressing an opinon. All for freedom of speech love - but supporting strength, in women or women and cultivating more ’self sufficient, strong headed women’ does not mean i have to becoem their no1 fan like you. All this, hi5 sista attitude, that you seem to ooze, is all good and merry in giving Lady J a warm fuzzy inside, but not productive in anyway in terms of questioning some of yoru regressive values and supporting the immigrants who she is ‘far too good for’ and is being reductive towards.
Remember ladies, many immigrants are here because they need to support their family back home and are unable to do this in the country they have left behind because of of the non existent job oppurtinities etc, so they arnt the rejects of gods clay production.
And anyway, i reckon half of lady J’s strong headed female fan club would swoon if they had met an Italian stallion who is here on a working visa, or a Japanese sexy geek who snuck into teh country to make ends meet - because in your eyes, these boys would be ‘exotic’, ‘cool’, ‘edgy’ etc etc, but any Ali, Abdul or Mo from your parents homeland is a fresh flesh of the banana boat with backwards values, is a gold digger and after your passport which you and your booty shaking ass could never allow yourself to ’submit’ to.
sigh
*yawn*
November 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
p.s. Shambles
You only feel like a slut if you let yourself.
I’m a music junkie, but i choose to do it in an environment away from men bumping and grinding next to me - (the bedroom could be an option) lol
Not that i am saying your are wrong for your lifestyles etc, each to their own
But one thing for sure, Islam is a lifestyle and all encompassing of teh many attirbutes in our lives, so picking and choosing like you would your sushi on a conveyor belt, is really not something you do with religion. Not if your a muslim anyway. Not that i am saying its easy etc, but compromising with God isnt really an option on the menu.
November 13th, 2008 at 11:57 am
my my…looks like i’ve hit a nerve!! mushroom you shouldn’t take this personally…all my comments are general! as for being surrounded my coke heads and drunks…no thank you…i am very aware of my surrounding and know how to look after myself! plus i don’t remember telling anyone to go anywhere where they feel uncomfortable! and as for supporting immigrants…so we should marry “freshies” out of sympathy? but isn’t that wrong?
as for an italian stallion and japanese geeks….well asian men are exotic enough so i don’t have to look to far!
come on mushroom you know you love Lady J and secretly her number 1 fan…lol…this sisterhood attitude is only because i love the way she writes and what she writes about!!
I recently went to dhaka and met some intelligent, stuck up, equally as backward, very very westenised bengoli people! they where doing far more in their homeland then i would ever do in britain. rest assure they can be as opiniated and regressive as me. however if i where to marry a “freshie” then he would have to be successful by his own means. i found one and funny enough his name was ali!
lady j just had bad luck! i’m sure if he where intrested in some of the things lady j likes then it would be another story.
finally mushroom…that can of worms has been open for several decades!! I am aware that compromising with the almighty is not an option but we have free will and allowed to make mistakes provided we repent and don’t repeat!!
next time cover your mouth when you yawn…lol…x
November 13th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
very ‘aware’ of ur surroundings indeed. Keep shakin that booty, maybe u should take ur husband out clubbin with u when u get married
November 13th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Shambles
I didnt insuniate we marry freshies out of sympathy. I was merely stating a fact -to remind some of us that freshies arent some disease and beneath us.
As for the free will and repeat repent -i agree, good point
I am most defo not a fan - let along - no1 fan - of Lady J or anybody as a matter of fact. I like the way she writes to - par the frequent marginalisation and reductivity which aggravates me. But hey, clearly i must like some of it if i am spending my time reading it. I just happen to be a critic than a sheep sitting on the fence-er.
Your parapgraph “I recently went to dhaka and met some intelligent, stuck up, equally as backward, very very westenised bengoli people! they where doing far more in their homeland then i would ever do in britain. rest assure they can be as opiniated and regressive as me. however if i where to marry a “freshie” then he would have to be successful by his own means. i found one and funny enough his name was ali!”
is so confusing its unfunny.
*If they were ’stuck up’ and ‘backward’ - how can they be intelligent? Intelligent people do not reduce others and compartmentalise, they are open, think outside the box and have a deeper rooting of respect because they can comprehend ‘difference’ in its totality.
*Why does it surprise you that they are doing so much for their homeland? Clearly they are prioritising correctly - good thang!
*”rest assure they can be as opiniated and regressive as me” - everyone has an opinion, and some are more assertive with theirs than others but being regressive is nothing to admit to, be proud of or can evoke rest of assurance to anyone. Being regressive in your opinions is a worry to soceity.
anyways, i wont pick yoru comments anymore - lol
Hope things work out with Ali :)
**triple yawn*** -
November 13th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Mushroom…your very naive! you don’t have to be un-intelligent to be stuck up and backwards! and what i ment with the homeland comment was….that they do all sorts..like clubbing, drinking, sex before marriage etc. it doesn’t stop in the cities! however their are the good few that are patriotic like mohammed yunus…he did good!
you did call my kind of girls regressive so i used that as an example!
Tariq…good idea!!
at the end of the day…no one is perfect! if they where this world would be perfect and we wouldn’t be on inside desi!!! people are allowed to choose!
xxx
November 14th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Oh my gosh - that bredda Tariq - what a bellend. Seriously man, who made you an alim? Leave your bedroom/get off your horse, whatever. Mans needs to stop seeing the world as evil whitey trying to corrupt your Muslim purity. Grow up.
November 14th, 2008 at 11:45 am
ok Shambles
i hear ya gurl
November 14th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
You dont need to be an Alim to know clubbin is haram. You dont need to be an alim to know all of these things. Thanks for the advice (whatever it was) mine to you would be to try learn more bout your deen u little fish.
November 14th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
*u little fish*
lol
November 16th, 2008 at 1:22 am
@ Tariq-good on u for having morals and being bothered about whats haram. Too many ppl dont care I think even when theyr Muslim and its a shame. I have even know guys and girls who think the mor sexual partners they have the better as its sum sorta game forgetting that theyr using the body cheaply like that.
Anyway bac to my point Tariq-good on u for caring and forget ignorant ppl or ‘fishes.’ I’ve tried getting sense into those kinda ppl b4 but theres no point coz it has to cum from them.
November 17th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Lady J, with all the (mis)adventures you encounter in the quest to find the ying to your yang, you still manage to stay (reasonably) sane, witty and most of all optimistic that your tenacity in not settling for less than best will reap its rewards :)
November 18th, 2008 at 12:38 am
Good on you Lady J. Keep up the good writing and don’t lose faith. I look forward to you finding the perfectly proportioned, prosperous, plucky, east pakistani complete with passport and phwaor factor. Just for now though, imagine how much fun having a husband shorter than you would be. You could hide things like money in places he couldn’t reach and the image of him frantically jumping to get a newspaper you put too high would be enough to keep any marriage going.
November 18th, 2008 at 12:38 am
Good on you Lady J. Keep up the good writing and don’t lose faith. I look forward to you finding the perfectly proportioned, prosperous, plucky, east pakistani complete with passport and phwaor factor. Just for now though, imagine how much fun having a husband shorter than you would be. You could hide things like money in places he couldn’t reach and the image of him frantically jumping to get a newspaper you put too high would be enough to keep any marriage going.
I eagerly await the next (mis)adventure
November 18th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Lazi Desi! There is no such country as East Pakistan any more. Bangladesh won the liberation war in 1971.
November 18th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Naushad
You took teh words right out of my mouth.
Lazi desi aka Lady J’s no1 fan - Thats just as insulting as calling Myanmar ‘Burma’.
get with it.
November 18th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I think he was just saying it for the purpose of alliteration and not to insult anyone.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
maybe so, but still a dumb thing to say.
November 26th, 2008 at 12:23 am
I have learnt since I was really young that there are three things we should leave on god’s hand-Birth, Marriage and death. Two of my uncle’s who were born in the UK are now divorced! One of which were married to a lady from Bangladesh and other was married to someone who were born in the UK. Unfortunately neither of them worked. I am strong believer of marrying a person who is on the same level as you are. Otherwise no matter how much you try it will not work.
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:18 pm
DO NOT MARRY A FRESHIE! No matter how nice and open minded they may seem, they only want you for the red passport.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:42 am
Its good it dint work out… The poor guy wouldve made the worse decison of his life!