It will never do to say “I do” in Bollywood
Posted on 07 January 2009 by Nabila Pathan
A relationship is like a start-up business. On a good day, you’re breaking even. But if you’re a couple under the spotlight of a global audience, you’re in permanent recession. You only need to look at Hollywood, the divorce capital, to appreciate that celebrity marriages are not the most secure relationships around. It’s completely understandable considering the rather unique set of pressures presented on the stars. So why does Hollywood’s counterpart, Bollywood, not share its poor track record?
An industry that rarely likes to depict dysfunctional marriages almost demands the same of its stars. That is Bollywood’s secret to sustaining A-list marriages. They are expected to last because Indian culture and conservatism dictate so. What’s more, in India, divorce can only be granted based on cases of mental cruelty, infidelity or psychiatric illness. Parting ways is clearly not easy for the stars.
But whether propagating a “happy ever after” image is a good thing is highly questionable. In a world where the true value of marriage is wavering, there’s something almost conceited in keeping up appearances of being together for the sake of public image. It promotes an unrealistic impression that marriage works amidst living, breathing and working in that artificial world, which is never helpful as millions of people look upon the stars as role models. Just imagine how many young and impressionable people must have been inspired by Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachan getting married.
When the likes of Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora, or Ajay Devgan and Kajol present a united front for the glaring media, I cannot help but question just what price the couples are truly paying for their fame? How does one cope with having a more popular spouse? Does anyone ever get used to the constant pressures of having to look good, look normal and smile even when they don’t feel like it?
These stars lead extraordinary lives shrouded in intense public scrutiny, competitive careers, drug and alcohol addictions, breakdowns and temptation. When issues arrive, they probably arrive all at once. Unlike a three hour marathon of a Hindi film, these love stories have no intermission. There must come a point where no miracle can inject life back into a dead relationship. But they are bound by marital contract, family expectations and the world’s eyes.
Even more extraordinary is how Bollywood couples never give away the slightest hint of a rocky marriage, even though the mischief mongering media may speculate otherwise. It’s almost like the film stars have been born with an innate skill for PR. So when the few that actually do go ahead with a divorce, the outside world gets a rare glimpse that the likes of Aamir Khan, Saif Ali Khan and Sanjay Dutt live a reality that does not imitate art.
So why have the few divorces not set off a trend across the industry? The reality is that the latest generation of young stars are resisting marriage for as long as possible, opting for a live-in relationship that does not make either party bound together by tradition, joint family expectations or their fans. The new generation that have been in a non-contractual set up such as Kareena and Shahid, or Bipasha and John, lasted as long as they did, and then broke-free with ease once the pressures of Bollywood chewed up the relationship.
Whilst Bollywood may never rival Hollywood’s divorce rates, nor be the next divorce capital, is this really something to be proud of? Marriages in Bollywood are not so different from Hollywood. But failing marriages are yet to come out of the closet. The truth is, it will never do to say “I do” in Bollywood because having a successful relationship is incompatible with having a successful film career.
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Tags : aamir khan, abhishek bachchan, aishwarya rai, bipasha, marriage
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January 7th, 2009 at 9:55 am
A nice read… :)
January 7th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Hmm.. is this not the case with South Asians in general? Problems within marriages are kept hidden and away from the view of onlookers. Many put up with it for the sake of fmaily pride/honour etc. I would imagine this is what Bollywood celeb marriages are reflecting rather than a unique set of circumstances being there for themselves.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Looking for celebrities in general to define some sort of marital status quo is nonsense as their lives and their culture are very sensational in that sense. Divorce rates in India for instance are rising as people become more affluent and ‘worldly’ and dont see the need to appease society and backward families.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
but what happens when normal people stop following the traditions of marriage, society and the general sticking together through thick and thin idea?
I think chavs are the general result.
January 7th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
People who divorce because they are not the right fit for each other are chavs? Another donkey opinion from a donkey reader here on insidespazi.com
January 10th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
You should include yourself in that group and run for president of it, im sure you’d win no problem.
if youd bothered to engage your brain at the same time as reading, you may have reasoned I was talking about the general structure of society.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Lizzie Jane Kirby at 1:12pm January 11
Hi isnt that what Hollywood and Bollywood all about ? Its all part of the job and no matter how hard they try to keep there private live private! Theres always someone looking for the story?And the way i see things in the department of marrige and divorce is it was good whilst it lasts coz nothing good lasts forever no matter what anyones berules maybe im guessing its hard but life goes on and we go on.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I have to strongly agree with InsideDesi. Hollywoods divorce rate is high partly because it’s more business, it’s about the money, and partly because of the social appeal. America as a whole has the highest divorce rate, and some of the largest divorce settlements ever seen. A recent example is Madonna and Guy Richie.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
… Compare this with Asia’s Bollywood couples where break-ups aren’t as common or half as melo-dramatic. Asians in general appear to have a more level-headedness about themselves, We test the water, and after a further 30 checks, we jump in. An example is Kareena Kapoor who’s long standing relationship with actor Shahid Kapoor ended in 2007 during the making of Jab We Met. However, after a year of dating actor Saif Ali Khan she is finally marrying Saif.
I think you’re on the ball with this article!
January 14th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Its like ur all sayin u dont believe in marriage and divorce is expected. I pity u all who think like this.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
If the right context is not set then marriage has no chance. I pity those who self-delude themselves. They are setting themselves up for emotional destruction.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
John and Bips are no longer 2gether? : D
January 14th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Who told you dat?They are together still.Cause i just saw an interview of them this morning on zoom tv which was taken on last saturday
January 14th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Errr… i’m confused.
My understanding of this article and what I was agreeing with was that marriages are more likely to last in our eastern culture than they would in western society. Not just because of our social upbringing, but also because we do not dive into bed with any old tom, dick or harry (forgive the expression).
With celebrities, there is a lot of pressure for relationships to break, the media scrutinise every possible angle of these professionals lives, and I have the upmost respect for professionals in Bollywood who are trying harder to ensure their marriage remains solemnised. Whereas our western counter-part, Hollywood, appear to have the opposite approach and divorces are more common than lasting marriages.
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May 27th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I watch this guy for year, yea he do a lot of crazy stuff, but I know he is a really good and nice person. My boyfriend got his all best fights and we probably going to pray today and watch his in ring - so sad love you Mike.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
I lost my job right on my birthday with a greeting card. I heard about people loosingt they jobs - but I didn’t think it’s going to happened with me. I start looking for a new job. I got some money for now and I pretty good worker so I don’t think that going to be a big problem. I got couple offers so I think Life come back in shape.