Ok, the rubbish name might not give much away, but Actor Prepares is being dubbed the Bollywood Academy, a newly established UK-based acting school which aims to train budding actors for the world of Indian cinema.  It is the brain child of veteran Bollywood star Anupam Kher, which could explain the rather literal title, as it probably sounds great in Hindi.

Anupam’s pedigree has indeed attracted the young stars, and many are happy to fork out the £5000 needed for the three month course which takes place in Ealing, West London.  But will the course really catapult star struck youngsters into the glamorous world of Bollywood, or is it merely creating false hope for a generation enticed by the trappings offered by the Indian film industry?

Well, the budding actors do get to work with directors and producers of the highest order.  Ok, Karan Johar has yet to make his appearance at the academy, but courses are currently being taught by Hemendra Bhatia, and a quick Google search shows that he has starred in Satta in 2003, and written Idiot in 1991 (no, I’ve not seen any of these either, however, if there are any die-hard Hemendra fans out there and he has more films to his name, please do correct and chastise me).

The academy could arguably be seen as a great opportunity for British Asian hopefuls to build contacts as well as master the dramatic expressions required for Bollywood cinema.  But the cynic in me does think otherwise…

The course takes me back to a brief encounter I had with a voice trainer.  As a struggling graduate broadcast journalist, I got sick of hearing how I looked the part for TV news, but was let down by a voice which gave away my youth.  So I ignored one radio presenter’s advice that I would have to get older and fatter to sound the part, and signed up to voice training.  Little did I know that to have a great voice, I had to be a great actor.  I then spent several sessions pretending to be a mouse, a snake, reading with a corkscrew in my mouth and running up and down some stairs.  I soon realised that pretending to be Balloo from the Jungle Book wouldn’t make me a better newsreader.  Plus, I was just too damn reserved and Asian to scream and pull funny faces at a relative stranger; somehow I can’t imagine Trevor McDonald did that before his big break either.  I now work in PR.

But I can’t judge Actor Prepares solely on my own experience.  Remember Bollywood Star?  The ‘X Factor’ of Bollywood promised to find the next big thing for Mahesh Bhatt’s latest movie.  I’ve yet to see a film starring the winner; I don’t even remember her name.

Meanwhile, the one British Asian actor I can think of who’s made it in Bollywood is Upen Patel, an actor better known for flexing his biceps, rather than his acting muscles.  It’s unlikely he’s giving the Khan’s sleepless nights.

However, maybe Actor Prepares will change all that.  Maybe this is the chance for young British Asians to reach Bollywood. If you are a student at the Academy, please let me know, it would be great to catch you before you’re famous.

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