Where Do All the Desi Girls Go Out to Play?
Posted on 06 September 2008 by Shamik Das
So much going on in the Premiership, Robinho, Berba, Keegan, so much going on in the world, but what to write about? As I sat staring at a blank screen trying to unscramble my mind I turned to Facebook for inspiration.
Little of note on the homepage, some crazy invites to far-out groups and a few wall postings mocking Chelski but nothing of relevance. Unperturbed, I scrolled down my updates list looking for a nugget. Negative.
What I did notice, however, as I scanned the faces and changing profile pictures of my friends, was how relatively few Asians, and in particular Asian girls, I know.
Of the 380-odd contacts I have on Facebook, ranging from Alan Johnson, the Health Secretary, to Fighting Talk legend Will Buckley, only a handful are Asians, and most of them are relatives.
It’s my complete lack of success with the girls that I find most baffling. I’d like to think I’m a pretty straight kinda guy, and I seem to have no trouble getting action with women of every other hue except Asian.
Part of the reason, in fact the only reason I can think of, is that I hardly ever get to meet any; they never seem to be at any of the bars or clubs or parties that I’m at, and believe me I go to many.
Those that I do clock, though incredibly fit, lack class and exude arrogance, stuck-up broads who’d gurn their faces in disdain as soon as they talk to you, thrusting their hand out like a traffic cop and kissing their teeth.
When they’re not outside, jutting their jaws out and blowing smoke from their Marlboro lights upwards into the night sky, clasping their handbags and shivering, you’ll find them perched by the bar sipping expensive cocktails, waiting for some sugar daddy to buy them their next raspberry daiquiri or peach margarita.
So what of all the good girls, those Desi dolls you’d be proud to take home to your mother; they can’t all be at home each night and every weekend, doing their homework or going to bed early - so where do they hang out?
I’m guessing Bollywood cinema halls - which I must confess I’ve never been to - or student unions, which I’m no longer able to get into; my undergraduate days but a distant and hazy memory.
Weddings I hear you cry, though it just feels wrong, not to mention highly embarrassing, to be making the moves and chatting up ‘honeys’ while your family are in close proximity, and you’re only ever a few seconds away from an auntie coming up, patting you on the head and pinching your cheeks while shouting “oh, ma, haven’t you grown! Now when you going to get a proper job and get married?”
Then there’s the option of speed dating, or the internet - that sea of desperados and fruitcakes, where you never know quite what you’re going to get.
Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to keep dreaming of Aishwarya…
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to our RSS feed and/or sign-up to our mailing list for updates.
   (12 votes. Average: 3.33 out of 5) |
Tags : aishwarya, aishwarya rai, girls
Related Posts:
- Brit Asia TV
- Caught in the trap of living other people’s aspirations
- Fresh from Desh
- DEStined to fail?
- Soap Stereotypes
Loading ...
September 6th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I want to know where all the good desi guys go…maybe we should all just meet up?
September 6th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
good article.
September 6th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Haha no offence but is the author looking for a girl and thought right let me right an article that will rile the girls?
If you are looking for the right girl you won’t neccessarily find her in a bar. Good girls won’t neccessarily be in librarys with thick glasses and their heads buried in books. Shopping centres are full of gorgeous people whether or not you try your luck its a great place to see people (people watching whilst drinking a great cup of chah)
I feel the same way about asian men. You see the great looking guys in a suit on the tube but hey they’re probably all alpha males and complete brstards (what is it about them that is so attractive I heard myself cry!)
I will send a freind suggestion to all my desi female friends so you might find an option!
Laila ; )
September 6th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Your right you wont find many of the ‘decent’ ones in bars or clubs. But the ones that supposedly decent arent necessarily the ones that sit at home all day and go to bed early. They do go out to the odd party, go out with friends for a meal etc.
They go out but, i agree you will either see them at weddings and shopping centres. I feel that asking around is a good option. Asking friends or others whether there is anyone available.?
However agreeing with Laila, it is the same problem with men. Where are all the decent men? the good looking ones seem to be stuck up and arrogant. The good ones are just way tooooo good, geeky. and the ones that we think are suitable are usually married..or gay!?
It is a big problem in our society….not being able to meet the right person…and where as we do have the internet and sites such as shaadi.com, one seems reluctant as they feel you never really know who the person is? There seem to be a lot of freaks on the net….
September 6th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Your right you wont find many of the ‘decent’ ones in bars or clubs. But the ones that are supposedly decent arent necessarily the ones that sit at home all day and go to bed early. They do go out to the odd party, go out with friends for a meal etc.
They go out but, i agree you will either see them at weddings and shopping centres. I feel that asking around is a good option. Asking friends or others whether there is anyone available.?
However agreeing with Laila, it is the same problem with men. Where are all the decent men? the good looking ones seem to be stuck up and arrogant. The good ones are just way tooooo good, geeky. and the ones that we think are suitable are usually married..or gay!?
It is a big problem in our society….not being able to meet the right person…and where as we do have the internet and sites such as shaadi.com, one seems reluctant as they feel you never really know who the person is? There seem to be a lot of freaks on the net….
September 6th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
You should come out with me sometime Shamik. Join the dark side!
September 6th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
standards are slipping. According to the writer and inside desi asian women should offer themselves to the cravings of pervs. You are all disgusting
September 6th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
@ Mai
You clearly have no grasp on reality. there is no hint of perversion in this article nor anywhere else on the website. seeking a life partner, is nothing to hide nor be ashamed of.
where exactly does it say what you claim; lol.
mai you need to stop hating, i loved this article and find it holds some very common problems that a lot of my male AND FEMALE friends face.
Where in the world are all the decent desi boys and girls hiding?
Very funny, good read Mr Das.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
try cineworl or nandos in ilford, or somerfields in wanstead - all the checkout gorls are asian lol
on a serious notes, good girls stay at home or go to each others houses because we are sick of meeting weird asian guys when we go out….where do all the decent asain guys hang out??
September 6th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
They don’t! Because they’re decent ;)
September 6th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
lmao…………… nice one bruv!! :P
September 6th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Heh, heh. Got to say I agree with Yasmin Awan-good girls do stay home or go out to each others houses. Good girls…or guys for that matter don’t spendtheir nights out. Smart people…guys or girls I think know that they should either stay single or marry. And you know what? Girls don’t have to go out in search for their future spouse because who they’re meant tomarry they will, ‘Allahr hukum’ you know. Now its Ramadan I believe you shouldn’t be out on the pull anyway…if you’re a Muslim. One more thing-the more one ‘messes around’ without being wed the less likely it is one will find a decent spouse one day. This is my good deed of the month-sharing that with all of you…heh heh.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
where do all the decent asain guys hang out??
At the mosques, mandirs and gurdwaras :p
September 6th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
I’m not your relative!!
and stop looking… the ‘goodest’ girls will appear when you least expect them to. =]
September 6th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Shamik - would you like me to introduce you to some? You can help me with my qust, and vice versa ;oP
September 6th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
who wants a good girl anyway? they are boring and lame. bring on the bad girls!
September 6th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
add me as a friend and i will pass on some numbers for some not so decent asians girls LOL….just like white girls, black girls and every other girl there are many asian girls that are loose…and very easy…..the only difference is that some asian girls hide it good. decent girls stay at home whats that shit …YES they do stay at home…on the internet showing their TITS to some dude via MSN…..
September 6th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Rahima : So u tryin to say we sud go out wiv da badest gals :p thn da good one will cme out of thr cave!! ;)
September 6th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Ahem..I object to the term ‘getting action’…
September 6th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Astaghfirullah! When everyone was talking about ‘good girls’ they were NOT talking about girls who get up to no good via the internet- because they aren’t good girls ha ha. Like attracts like you know-if you act easy you’ll only get easy…Strangerboy. And its ruza you shouldn’t be talking like that.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
@ Amina Jannath : i dont think strangerboy is muslim deary.
September 6th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Interesting!
September 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Where indeed?
September 6th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Interestin article … is it just me or do all desi girls talk about marriage straight away and scare the living hell out of you. It really does kill the relationship when you start datin and straight away you hear talks of marriage. I find that the ones that do tend to be the ones with the most skeletons in the closet (sometimes graveyards!)
September 6th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
i agree tink good girls are out there,few and far between thou.Whilst the ones stuck at home,quite often go on msn chat sites, dating websites etc…So guys if youre lookin for girls to chat up,dats probly the place you’ll find them!!!
September 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Errr…I’ve only just realised that the comments I left for this on facebook is now posted here…but don’t laugh but I’m just wondering, how come my surnames dissapeared here? Maybe my names too long,lol (Amina Jannah Choudhury),heh, heh…
September 6th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
In the words of the Scousers on Harry Enfield, caaaaaalm down, caaaaaaaalm down!
This article’s just a bit of harmless fun. I’m not looking for any girl in particular, I’m completely colour-blind in that regard, I was just saying that I’ve never been out with an Asian girl before.
There’s no intention whatsoever to slur white girls or imply they’re “easy”.
Religion, race or class matter not a jot…
September 7th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Love it Monsieur Das.
But so many ‘good girls’ tend to be drawn to the rough-and-tough alphas. So question: where are all the GOOD alpha males?!
Pipe up.
September 7th, 2008 at 4:00 am
Mr Das… perhaps you havn’t realised how lucky you are…if you have no-one at all, well you are automatically exempt from your heart being in turmoil. And I stand by what I said, good girls aren’t out partying or drinking-more likely than not they’re home helping in the kitchen…no offence to anyone but thats what I do,heh heh…
September 7th, 2008 at 5:15 am
Shamik,
You had a natural thought that comes from a very well milked subject, so i’m not about to suggest how to make your love life more ideal..there’s other articles, even on this website for that.
Your observation however(of your friendslist), is a bit der, as of course if you’re not chancing it and friending the many thousand of asian females out there, then ofcourse your list will be scarce.
You’re also in social environments, which are apparantly ok for you to revel in and for every one else, but yet are not good enough for your female counterparts without giving them a negative tag?! Perhaps you need to re-assess your own level of hypocritical pre-judgement before ruling out all of those who already share your world . .
September 7th, 2008 at 11:33 am
i thought this was a hilarious article! im sure it speaks out to a lotta guys out there (me included)!
its interesting that we seem to talk about good/bad girls/boys.
maybe the article should define decent girl/boy?
maybe we need to accept that this good/bad dichotomy only exists for the very very very small minority and that most of us are good and bad.
i think that ladybird mentions sum serious double standards that most guys tend to readily accept too! whats with that?
in conclusion, will someone please tell me where all the great (whatever that may be) asian girls are so i can get married and live happily ever after?
September 7th, 2008 at 11:50 am
intresting article. There aint no good girls out there evry1 are pretenders!
September 7th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I have the same sentiments as the person who wrote this article! When I go out I never seem to meet desi guys - seriously where do you all hang out??
I’m not the type of girl who stays at home and cooks, I go out and have fun with my friends - yet you wont catch me dead having a Marlborough (increases the ageing process to add to all other worries)!
Nor do I throw myself at passing men. Therefore I wouldn’t be classified as a “good girl” or a “bad girl” - so what am I?
The question is - why do we find it difficult to meet “that” person?Perhaps were trying to hard? Perhaps were not trying hard enough….
I don’t hang out in shopping malls nor bollywood film malls - so where do I hang out well nice restaurants - if you see someone you like smile at them, nice bars around mayfair or soho - if you catch someones eye go up to her in a non-sleazy friendly manner and say “hi”. Believe no “decent nice” girl will ignore you or snarl at you! And finally network - make friends with people from everywhere and different backgrounds, you never know where she can be hiding!
Most of my friends are non-asian - maybe that’s my problem??
Anyway goodluck readers with your search as I too am on the same quest!
September 7th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
there are plenty ov gyalz owt der boi’z
yu lot jst have 2 stop thinkin dat ur lukin foh sumone 2 bed
most guys dont bover with asian gyalz dey’z bkuz sum may
say that dey are “long” you will have to shower her with gifts and love
and alwayz chat 2 her on da fone untill da dawn of sunlight
but i say isint that what yu wnt in a relationship
havin sumone who yu love.
decent asian gyalz are owt their and there are a gud few of them
but yu wont fynd them in clubz nd bars …
yu fynd them dwn woodgreen, cineworld places lyk that ( frm 12pm till it strts gettin dark )
watchn a very filmy bollywood movie with her gyal m8s
over ways of finding a decent gyal is asking around im sure one of ur gyal mates
noe’z anuva gyal hu is lookin foh a relationship.
and remember neva go owt lukin foh a gyal as yu will neva fynd sumone
as yu fynd da perfect one wen yu least expect it
anywayz boii’z if yu lot still have problemz holla init bhai will help yu owt
and kutie’z if yu lot have problemz den kum too im sure i kan fynd yu
da Raj Kumar uve alwayz been waitn foh lol
September 8th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Its hard 2 find place 2 hangout thats not bad for girls. Thats one of the biggest prob me and my friends have.
Go to new resturants but try 2 get home by 11.
Go to cafe and waste time away talking
Go bowling, skating, parks, mela, mall, movies…. anything u can do with bunch of girls .. but those rn’t places u can pick girls up
September 8th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Lol to Dr. Luv, for all the boys in the world looking for luv, go to Wood Green at Bollywood hour and hang outside the cinema doors! lol
Agree though, good is a perception, just like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder, whats good for one person may not be good for someone else, we all gotta find our own comfortable balance.
And Meg, it’s very possible to get chirpsed before 11pm and in those places you mentioned, in fact guys, I would give guys more time of day in those scenarios than I would in a club, because they’re not as seedy, more sober and being daytime public, it’s safer.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Having read the article i agree with whats being said, but most of you are from down south where there is an abundance of desi people to interact with of both sexes, i live in Scotland where its even tougher finding someone.
But i think a good start would be for everyone to lose the arrogance, it puts a lot of people off even though it may just be a front with you being the nicest person behind that mask. Also i think guys should be a bit more gentlemanly to the ladies so the wont think that every guy they see is the same as the last assh^^e she was propositioned by. So in conclusion i think we could all make it easier for each other.
Happy Hunting….
September 9th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
to ladybird, darlin im tellin yu its tru
derz alwayz cute funny asian gyalz der
hu are w8n too b swept frm der feet by
der Raj Kumar lol
its funni how so many people here are lookin foh sumone
i say stop lukin nd when da tymz ryt believe it or not
ul fynd dat sumone, nd if yu go owt lukin foh dem
ul neva fynd dat perfect person uve been lukin foh
if yu get wot i mean
September 12th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I’m sorry, but I think some of these comments are preposterous.
What is this bizarre dichotomy between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ girls? The real divison is between enlightened, interesting and active people, and those who are less so. Whether you are interested in art, photography, sports, theatre, fine dining, clubbing, cooking, pubs, bars or music….. you’re going to meet LIKE MINDED people, not people who are either ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
There are plenty of girls of South East Asian origin who are clean living, professional and outgoing, with a good circle of friends and lots of cultural interests. They might be in bars or clubs occasionally, but they probably also go to restraurants, visit shopping malls and watch the occasional bollywood movie (like the ‘good girls). And they probably help their Mum chop vegetables when they’re at home too! Being outgoing and being a homebody are not mutally exclusive people.
And before you say it, yes, I happen to be desi and I am describing myself. And I’m neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’, although I’m sure many will disagree. What a ridiculous distinction.
P.S: Entertaining article. x
September 12th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear! Good and bad is all about whether someone has a nice personality, is warm, friendly and pleasant, can hold a conversation and likes to have fun, as opposed to selfish, vain, uncultured and boring girls, who, no matter how fit they are, I’d never go out with in a million years.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Obviously I knew that Shamik. x