Sexy, Sassy, Savvy. She does not sugar-coat, she is not shy. Don’t let her petite frame fool you. Her first novel, ‘Life, Love, and Assimilation’, brought her publicity, controversy, and universal recognition. Upon meeting, her intellect and sang-froid instantly shatter all judgemental stereotypes surrounding her. Unafraid of fading into obscurity, she writes not for fame and fortune, but to exorcise personal demons, and fulfil the inexplicable passion piercing through her eyes. The very eyes with which she captivates the camera before her. Unapologetic, unabashed, and down-right raw; we bring you Kia Abdullah, as never seen before.

So how did it all begin?

I’ve always loved writing. During my A-levels I was interested in doing Journalism, and I did Media Studies, but then I went on to study Computer Science at degree level. Obviously being Asian, it’s always ‘Do Law, do Engineering, do Medicine’, so I did Computer Science because I thought it would bring better prospects. Once I graduated I started writing Life, Love and Assimilation, and it was more my life story and getting my thoughts down onto paper, when it slowly began to formulate into a story. That’s sort of how it all began!

Kieran, the protagonist, has been described as feisty and self-reliant, but she still harbours a vulnerable side which keeps her from following her dreams. How difficult was it for you to take the plunge and turn to your passion?

I think it’s always difficult to go against your parents, whether that’s to do with marriage, career, or something that you just want to do, even if it’s as simple as a young girl wanting to live alone. In our culture it’s unacceptable and frowned-upon. For me, when I abandoned my IT career to turn to writing, it was just something that I enjoyed much more. Taking the step was just something inherent in writers- you know, you want to write, you enjoy it so much more than whatever else it is you’re doing. And I can’t say that my parents were 100% happy about it, but again, it’s to do with what you want and following your heart. Right at the end, even though Kieran does it in a strange way, she does take that stand, and that’s very much what the book is about- taking a stand, despite what your culture, community, parents or relatives might say about it.

What about your parents now, have they come to accept and support you in your chosen field?

They accept that now I’m a writer, and that this is what I want to do. When the book came out, there was quite a bit of controversy because of the subject matter, and also because it was quite a close reflection of my own family. They didn’t like the fact that I was discussing a drugs problem, or domestic abuse, but these things happen. Ok, now that I look back and think about it, I think perhaps as a Bangladeshi writer I had a bigger responsibility to highlight the positives of being a Bangladeshi woman, but at the same time it was very much my story - it was a personal story. I was criticised for being quite negative, but those things had happened to me, and those things do happen in our community.

So it’s not a rumour that Life, Love and Assimilation is an autobiographical novel?

Well, half and half I guess. It got to a point where people were sort of picking out specific scenes and saying to me ‘did this happen?!’. I’d describe it as fact-based-fiction. A lot of the first half is things that happened to me; my sisters did go back home and get married, my brother did have a drug problem. I don’t shy away from discussing it, because it does happen. If you go to Tower Hamlets, Stepney Green, Limehouse, true there are many young men and women with a lot of potential, but there’s also a very big drugs problem which needs to be addressed. I’m glad I didn’t shy away from that.

Was it difficult to face the controversy which ultimately surrounded the release of your book?

I was actually quite taken aback by it! I didn’t expect it to blow up, and so many people to be aware of it and read it. Initially I was a bit disappointed that people took it to be so negative. With regards to my parents, it was quite worrying because there were sex scenes in it. Being a Bengali girl, and from a Muslim background, it’s very difficult to discuss sex out in the open. My local paper did a review in Bengali; my parents read the review and so they knew that there was sexual content in there. It was embarrassing for me. But you know, I’m glad I discussed it. Sex happens, and it should be acknowledged openly.

Asian writers have often been criticised for only writing about their own culture. In your next project, ‘Child’s Play’ do you break this mould or stick to it?

Well it’s interesting that you ask. The next book isn’t about being Asian or being Muslim. I’ve been asked in the past why Asian writers rely so much on stereotypes, but I think sometimes it really is about just getting your foot in the door; how many Asian writers are famous for writing about things which aren’t necessarily Asian? But this time I wanted to just write something creative. It’s a psychological crime thriller, about a girl who gets recruited into this unit which traps paedophiles; it’s quite sinister. I wanted to research it from scratch, and use my imagination and not rely on experience. I think it’s a challenge as a writer. I’m very excited to see how it’s received.

What is the most important piece of advice that you’d give to your younger self?

Be true to yourself… I was actually pushed into an arranged marriage and it’s very strange because it’s a scenario that so many young girls go through. It’s not so much that you’re being forced into it, but you’re being ‘guilted’ into it. My book isn’t about sticking two fingers up to your culture; it’s about finding a balance, about following your heart. Sure, sometimes it will go against the grain, your parents won’t be happy, the community will shake their head at you, but you have to stay true to yourself and that’s the only way you’re going to stay happy.

Concerning your own experience of marriage; how has that affected you, and what are your emotions regarding it?

I think I should have just stood up and put my foot down. It was strange because for the longest time I had said no. I’d seen fifteen or sixteen suitors, and I had refused proposal after proposal. In the end, your parents always say to you, ‘Well it’s time you settled down / You’re getting older / Your choices will be limited in the future’. I was only 23 when it happened. Some of my closest friends are struggling with it now, because they’ve just got so much pressure on them to get married. Some of them are just 25! That’s not old! Now they’re always saying to me, ‘I’ve gotta find a man, I’ve gotta find a man’. I think if you find a man and you want to marry him, then fine. We all have weaknesses, and eventually, we all want to settle down and rely on someone… We don’t all want to be ball busters you know, out there juggling ten things alone at once! I think everyone likes a bit of comfort. But don’t give in to pressure.

So you’re against the arranged marriage institution?

Arranged marriage can work, but young girls need to be given the time and the space to decide for themselves. You can’t just present one person and expect a young woman to say ‘yes’, simply because he’s educated, or he’s got a good job. Marriage isn’t like picking up two pieces of Lego and forcing them to fit. We’re individuals; we need to find someone we can spend our lives with. Parents should take a step back and find someone who is truly compatible and shares your values. If you feel he’s someone you can really build your life with, then an arranged marriage isn’t something I’d stand up against.

In that case, what would you say is the most important element in making a marriage work?

Compatibility. People say that you have to be madly and truly in love, and head over heels for each other. I think that’s fantastic if you can find it. Things like compatibility, shared values, a similar approach to life, wanting children or not wanting children, wanting a career and whether your husband’s gonna be happy with that; all these matter. I believe having shared values is the most important thing.

So what’s your Blog about?

My blog’s just banter. People have said my book is depressing, really serious and intense. My blog’s just a place I go and talk about things that are going on in my life. Sometimes there will be serious things. My father passed away in April last year, and I made an entry on it. It wasn’t talking about my feelings so much, but more remembering him and remembering the things that he used to do. A lot of people wrote to me after that, people that had gone through loss, identifying with the sentiment that you want to remember everything that you possibly can about the person gone. But most of it is talking day-to-day of what I’ve been doing and so on; it’s just a bit of fun.

Errr.. and what’s this about you being a ‘coconut’ ?!

*Laughs* I have been accused of being a coconut! Probably because I’m not so much into Bollywood and Bhangra. But just because I’m not into Bollywood and Bhangra, it doesn’t mean that I’m a coconut! And just because you’re Asian, it doesn’t mean that you should like everything Asian. I describe myself as discerning; if there’s a song that I like and it happens to be Asian, then fantastic. But I’m not just gonna pick something up because it’s Asian and adopt it as my own; that’s not giving them the respect that they deserve. It’s not saying ‘oh I like this because it’s good’, it’s saying ‘oh I like this because it’s Asian’. I think it’s all about balance. We all struggle to find that balance

Being Bangladeshi yourself, where do you think the Bengali community are lacking in terms of excelling in the mainstream media?

I think a lot of Indians are now third generation, whereas Bangladeshis are still second generation. Hopefully as we move on and progress, you’ll see more Bangladeshi writers, Bangladeshi musicians, Bangladeshi presenters. It’s all about time. We need to get up and get in there!

You’ve written for other magazines and newspapers; what’s been your favourite article so far?

Oh God, as soon as I say this I’m going to be categorised again… I did a piece called ‘Sexual Healing’, which was about women engaging in their sexuality. Look I don’t want to be known as this girl who is always going on about sex! *Laughs* But I thought that was quite an interesting article; there’s so much guilt attached to being Asian and having sex, and the article kind of says that it’s okay to have sexual fantasies, and it’s ok to have that sexual side to your personality.

So you’re very open about sex?

I think we should be! Of course pre-marital sex is something that is very frowned upon. But I think at the same time girls do have sexual urges… Oh God, you’re going to turn this into some big controversial quote aren’t you? Ermm… I think we all have sexual fantasies and it’s something that we all deal with. I don’t think it’s something we should shy away from. The feature was really about saying that it is okay to think and talk about sex.

What has been the response from the Islamic community?

Well quite recently I proof-read a prospectus for an Islamic school, and it was given to me by a friend. Now he hadn’t actually told them that it was Kia Abdullah doing the job, because I’d been known to write about sex. I mean, it wasn’t so much that he was ashamed of me, I think he was just quite scared of my name being associated with something Islamic! It’s quite worrying, I guess. I don’t drink, I’ve never done drugs, I don’t smoke, but at the same time I do talk to the opposite sex, I don’t wear a headscarf, I don’t go clubbing very often. So I think it’s about balance; I know Muslims who drink and I know Muslims who don’t. I just happen to be one that doesn’t.

Ok, so on your website there is a section titled ‘Gallery’, but there are no photographs of you. Instead you’ve left a quote by Daphne du Maurier, which says, ‘Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.’ What changed your mind in being exposed to the public eye by InsideDesi?

I didn’t want a whole gallery on my website. I wanted people to concentrate on my writing. I don’t think it’s particularly necessary that writers should be seen. My agent actually told me to go to a professional photo-shoot because it can be a great selling point, but was my writing not trade-worthy on its own? It’s a great compliment that someone thinks your looks will bring attention, but I didn’t want to be known for my face. I wanted to be known for my writing. As for InsideDesi, I was sold when I thought of having a complete 360° viewpoint of who I am!

Rapid Fire Round.

If Life, Love and Assimilation were turned into a movie, who would play the role of Kieran Ali?
Natalie Portman! I just love her.

Most inspirational authors?
Vikram SethSharon MaasGautam Malkhani

Chick flicks- devoid of talent, or tasteful?
Tasteful, as long as they’re not repetitive!

Describe your evil twin in 3 words.
Bitchy
Moody
Manipulative

Describe your current self in 3 words.
Part-Sweetheart, Part-Bitch..? Crap, that’s 4 words.

Bollywood or Hollywood?
Hollywood I’m afraid!

Shahrukh or Salman?
Shahrukh!

Your perfect man in 3 words.
Mr
Jonny
Depp!!

Fill in the gap. Your favourite online magazine will be…
… InsideDesi, of course!

For more pictures, be sure to visit the InsideDesi Gallery.

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